TOOZ ON THE TUBE : Former Raider Cruises Into Training Camp to Brush Up on Ex-Teammates

Old Raiders never die, they just move on to mayhem in other spheres.

Like--oh no, it can’t be--journalism?

Make way for 6 feet 9 inches and at least 295 pounds of telecommunicator, John Matuszak, who will make his debut on Sunday night’s Raider-Dallas Cowboy exhibition telecast, affording the audience the chance to take a video cruise with the Tooz.

In his old cruising days, watching the movie version would have been the only way to make sure you were coming back alive, but Tooz says those days are over, and just in time.

Move over Walter Cronkite, Eric Sevareid, Bruce Herschensohn, there’s a new commentator in town.

Of course, his style may be somewhat different. The man who trained for Super Bowl XV in New Orleans at the Old Absinthe House, says he’s going to stay free-wheeling.

“I think I should be,” Matuszak said Wednesday. “I think I should be objective, call ‘em as I see ‘em. Stay the Tooz. Hopefully make it fun, make it interesting.”

Like a responsible reporter, Matuszak arrived in Raider camp Wednesday to research his former teammates. They were delighted to see him, although for completeness’ sake, it must be noted that a few in recent years have noted that the Tooz legend has outstripped his actual value.

Or as Matt Millen once told Sports Illustrated: “That’s Tooz, all that fake camaraderie. . . . One day Al Davis said to me, ‘You know, Tooz is really a force out there.’ And I said, ‘You’ve got it all wrong, Al. You mean a farce.’ ”

But time heals all. Matuszak, who must have heard about it, and Millen exchanged best wishes Wednesday. Other typical greetings went like:

Marcus Allen: “Hey, good lookin’.”

Matuszak: “You’re what’s cookin’. “

But staying the Tooz--i.e., outrageous--in his new field of endeavor, requires a shift in perspectives. He’s no longer one of them. He has to be candid in his opinions.

So what does he think about the Raider quarterbacks?

In his days, they’d never have played one as young as Rusty Hilger, would they?

“I don’t like the idea now,” Matuszak said. “But what are you going to do? It’s time to give these people a shot.”

And Jim Plunkett, who quarterbacked Tooz’s last Super Bowl championship in 1980 remains on the unable-to-perform list, but is Matuszak surprised to see him still out there?

“Well, he doesn’t have a uniform on,” Matuszak said. “When he gets a uniform on, I’ll be surprised.

“But at the same time, Plunkett has never ceased to amaze me. In ’78 with the 49ers, he was a shell. He took over when we were 2-3 in ’79 and Dan Pastorini broke his leg. I thought our season was over, and we wound up winning the Super Bowl.”

And Marc Wilson, a teammate for three seasons?

Matuszak frowns.

“I think the same thing as the popular conjecture.”

What’s that?

“What do you think of him?”

Matuszak asks.

The writer inhales sharply. “Lots of things,” he says.

“That covers it,” Matuszak says, imitating the intake of breath. “How do you write that? It seems like he’s had chances a couple of times to prove himself and he didn’t do it.”

A moment later, who else should walk by but Marc Wilson. Wilson smiles and greets Matuszak warmly. Matuszak tells him he’s doing the game Sunday. Wilson laughs and says that should add color. Matuszak wishes him well. Wilson walks off.

“You asked about Wilson,” Matuszak says. “That’s why it’s tough. There’s still love there. There’s still hope there.”

And the Raider exhibition season? Despite two desultory losses, the mood in camp remains upbeat, starting with Al Davis. Of course, the Raiders are used to looking awful in exhibitions.

Aren’t they?

“We used to beat the 49ers, 33-0, 28-0,” Matuszak says. “We wanted to set the tempo for the season. But when you lose a couple of games, you can’t put that much weight on them.

“I think these guys are going to find a way. But they sure don’t look like it now.”

And the Tooz, himself, how is he doing in his sixth year out of football?

“I don’t think you ever get over it,” Matuszak says. “There’s been a study done by a psychiatrist with the Patriots. Many players experience post-stress syndrome, similar to a combat veteran.

“How has it been for me? I had some things to take its place. I had films, television. I have a book coming out in October, ‘Cruising with the Tooz.’

“I can’t cruise no more. You cruise, you lose. Now I cruise with my head tightened on. No more loose nuts and bolts. I have the 4,000-mile check every chance I get.

“I don’t drink anymore. No pain-killers, no nothing. Believe me, my body could use it sometimes but I can’t do it.

“Did I ever detox? Me, I detoxed before every practice,” he says, laughing. “That’s not true. I would stop drinking every Tuesday of a game week. I’d go hard Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, detox Wednesday.

“If you’ve been through it, you should have guts enough to stand up, so young people know not to do it. That crap can knock you down. Stay away from it.”

It would be nice to report that Matuszak is mellowing into the next phase, but that would be overlooking the odd incident. On June 24, he pleaded guilty to charges stemming from a traffic altercation on Hollywood Boulevard, in which he was alleged to have punched the driver of another car and to have tried to rip the man’s car door off.

“Some guy purposely caused an accident,” Matuszak says.

In a way it was as if he had never left. John Dunn, the new Raider conditioning coach, introduced himself to Matuszak--”I wanted to meet the legend,” Dunn said--and even put him through a scary-looking workout. Matuszak emerged, breathing hard but happy.

“What do you weigh?” Dunn asked.

“Two ninety-five,” Matuszak said. “What did you think?”

“You look lean,” Dunn said. “I’d have thought 3-something.”

“I can’t lie to you,” Matuszak said, laughing.

Matuszak says his book will be out in October.

“It tells all about growing up in America,” he says. “Where all your dreams and nightmares come true.”

Raider Notes

It had to happen: not only is Johnny Carson doing Irwindale jokes, he’s having the city’s press spokesman, Xavier Hermosillo, on Friday night’s show. . . . The Raiders cut punter Jeff Hayes at his request, meaning it’s a duel between Stan Talley and Ray Criswell, again, with Talley the front-runner. Tom Flores: “He (Hayes) felt that because of the two players we have here, he’d be better off someplace else. We felt the same way.” . . . The Raiders are one of the teams that have sent telegrams, notifying the NFL office, Ohio State and Pittsburgh that they will not participate in Friday’s supplemental draft. Flores said they were doing it “for reasons of our own” and wouldn’t say more. The Raiders are thought to value continued entree on NCAA campuses and aren’t interested enough in Cris Carter or Charles Gladman to jeopardize that.