THE TRUTH UNBUCKLED

Two weeks ago Outtakes asked readers to help count the buckles attached to Michael Jackson’s “Bad” outfit and, more earthshakingly, explain why the Ungloved One is wearing so many of them. The deluge of loose leaf and post cards and even a typed letter or two was overwhelming. Not one managed to come up with the correct number. According to Jackson’s PR people, Michael--who designed the outfit himself--is wearing 46 buckles. Why? The PR people said Michael said there’s no special meaning behind them. But readers think differently. Here’s a representative sampling of their buckle guesses and buckle explanations--the ones that are suitable for a family newspaper.

I lost count after the left leg (those boots must take forever to get on).

Even so, there’s one buckle no one will ever detect, and it’s located at the back of the head, to pull the flesh snugly over his ever-increasing new features.

GRANT LEAVINS

La Canada