THE TRUTH UNBUCKLED

Two weeks ago Outtakes asked readers to help count the buckles attached to Michael Jackson’s “Bad” outfit and, more earthshakingly, explain why the Ungloved One is wearing so many of them. The deluge of loose leaf and post cards and even a typed letter or two was overwhelming. Not one managed to come up with the correct number. According to Jackson’s PR people, Michael--who designed the outfit himself--is wearing 46 buckles. Why? The PR people said Michael said there’s no special meaning behind them. But readers think differently. Here’s a representative sampling of their buckle guesses and buckle explanations--the ones that are suitable for a family newspaper.

Jackson’s 50-plus buckles are holding him together.

After repeated operations and alterations, his body is actually unable to move without cascading into tiny Mickey McNuggets.

ROCKY LANE

Manhattan Beach