THE TRUTH UNBUCKLED

Two weeks ago Outtakes asked readers to help count the buckles attached to Michael Jackson’s “Bad” outfit and, more earthshakingly, explain why the Ungloved One is wearing so many of them. The deluge of loose leaf and post cards and even a typed letter or two was overwhelming. Not one managed to come up with the correct number. According to Jackson’s PR people, Michael--who designed the outfit himself--is wearing 46 buckles. Why? The PR people said Michael said there’s no special meaning behind them. But readers think differently. Here’s a representative sampling of their buckle guesses and buckle explanations--the ones that are suitable for a family newspaper.

My guess is that Michael’s sporting the buckles because:

These buckles coincide with safety belts in his limousine (hearse), strapping him in for insurance purposes.

He’s doubling as a motocross rep on weekends.

Why?

Who cares? Loosen up, Michael!

SUSAN WACH

Laguna Niguel