Your Hip Parade for 1988 : New Year Predictions--Winners, Losers, Hot Trends in the Entertainment Industry

Had enough of those predictable year-end entertainment stories? The ones that told you what you already knew--that Glenn Close was in, Joan Collins was out and U2 was the rock band of the year?

When it comes to keeping track of show-biz news makers and trend-setters, the real challenge comes in predicting this year’s news--a 1988 hip parade 362 days early.

Which TV shows will get the ax? Which rap group will be the new teen sensation? And what kind of cars will all those mega-buck studio executives drive this year?

For whatever it’s worth, here’s an irreverent look at the entertainment industry’s latest trends and hot shots:

HOLLYWOOD NAME OF FAME: Tired of all those Brandons (Tartikoff and Stoddard), Seans (Penn and Connery) and Barbs (Walters, Streisand and Hershey)? Tune in Oscar night and watch for the completely unrelated Brooks Brothers . . . “Broadcast News” comedy wizards James and Albert.

TV’S HOT TALK-SHOW HOST: Move over Oprah Winfrey and make room for . . . Arsenio Hall.

ROCK’S NEW LADIES’ MAN: Prince is just too mysterious. Sting got married. And Jon Bon Jovi won’t go anywhere without his blow dryer. What’s a girl to do? Easy--keep an eye peeled for pop’s silky new smoothie . . . Terrence Trent D’Arby.

NEW SHOW-BIZ EXERCISE REGIME: Pack up all that Nautilus equipment. The new way to work up a sweat is . . . golf.

NAMES TO DROP: So what if the Oscar faves are big names like Cher, Streep and Nicholson. Hollywood watchers say if you want to catch a rising star, you can put Holly Hunter at the top of your list and add . . . Jennifer Grey, John Lone, Sean Young, Patrick Dempsey, Mary Stuart Masterson, Andy Garcia and Joe Mantegna.

STUDIO EXEC WHEELS: Is there any self-respecting development exec who still wants to be seen in a black Porsche Carrera? Just ask the studio parking lot guards--the car on the move is . . . a Burgundy Jeep Wagoneer.

HOLLYWOOD BABY NAME: Everyone has already lifted dozens of funny lines from his films. Now just watch . . . thousands of Woody Allen fans will follow his lead and call their newborn sons . . . Satchel.

THE TUBE’S NEW SEX SYMBOL: Has your heart stopped beating overtime for “L.A. Law” studs Harry Hamlin and Jimmy Smits? That’s OK. TV stars don’t have to be pretty boys anymore. Just ask CBS--the scented fan mail is pouring in for . . . Ron Perlman of “Beauty and the Beast.”

ROCK’S NEW RAP BRAT: The Beastie Boys wore out their welcome--too much foul language and raucous antics. So who will trendy teens torture their parents with next? The young rapper whose “How Do You Like Me Now?” is blaring from boom-boxes everywhere . . . Kool Moe Dee.

SHOW-BIZ PERKS: They’ve already got Lakers court-side seats, a Pepto-Bismol-pink car phone and a screening room in the den. What will your budding movie-mogul pals be treating themselves to this year? . . . first-class seats on MGM Grand Air.

STAR ON THE DRESSING-ROOM DOOR: Sam Shepard got his cover stories. David Mamet got to direct. Who’s the hot new playwright making the transition from Off Broadway to the Big Screen? He just wrote one hit (“Moonstruck”) and has another film due in the spring (Tony Bill’s “Five Corners”). Remember this name . . . John Patrick Shanley.

HOLLYWOOD HAIR: Throw away that sticky tub of mousse. There’s a new male ‘do this year. First we saw rock stars and SoHo artists wearing it. Then video directors and dance club deejays got into the act. Who’s next? Just ask your boyfriend to spin around and see if he’s got a . . . ponytail.

HIGH-ANXIETY EXECS: You saw what happened to David Puttnam--Hollywood’s perks rarely include job security. So who has the highest-blood pressure gigs in show business? Why wait till they make the cover of Forbes? Just keep an eye on . . . CBS-TV’s Kim Le Masters, Columbia Pictures’ Dawn Steel and Capitol/EMI Records chief Joe Smith.

HOLLYWOOD HIDEAWAYS: Everybody’s been to Aspen and Cabo San Lucas and Maui and St. Barth’s and Mazatlan. So how far do you have to go to get away from the madding crowd? Not that far . . . Oregon, the hot new spot to ski in the mountains or swim in Klamath Lake.

PRIME-TIME BLUE-CHIP HIT: “Dynasty” isn’t forever. And who knows? Ratings for “The Cosby Show” might just start slipping a wee bit by this fall. We know at least one show several young network programmers have side bets on . . . “Hooperman.”

LATE-NIGHT HOT SPOT: It never used to be a problem finding the Hollywood In-Crowd at superstar watering hole Helena’s. Now there are a couple of other femme fatales on the block. If you’re really dying to eyeball a few celebs, drop by . . . Rebecca’s or Catherine’s.

POP YOUTH MOVEMENT: Rock has plenty of stars past 40--just ask Mick Jagger, Paul McCartney, Tina Turner and Bob Dylan. But who’s high on the pop charts this year? If your kids haven’t gone away to college yet, just ask them. They’ll tell you . . . teen idols--Debbie Gibson, Tiffany and Glenn Medeiros.

IN DEVELOPMENT: In Hollywood, imitation is the most exalted form of flattery. With the Brat Pack in exile and romantic comedies on the wane, what’s the role every studio exec is looking for? Here’s a hint: the best parts in “Fatal Attraction” and “Wall Street” went to . . . the villains.

DON’T ADJUST YOUR SET: Rest your eyes from all those garish neon lights and splashy pastel colors. “Private Eye” got dumped. “Miami Vice’s” ratings have begun to slide. High-style hip is out. What’s in this year? . . . real-life dramatic comedy.

KEEPING UP: So how do you stay abreast of all this entertainment action? Leave People on the rack. Turn off “Entertainment Tonight.” Ask your newsstand man to fly in a copy of the periodical that sasses every celebrity . . . Spy magazine.