A Musical, Even Done by Opera Pacific, Is Still a Musical

‘Kismet’ is ‘50s musical-theater equivalent of the B movie: flashy sets, titillating costumes and low-brow comedy.

“What’s in a name?” immortal poet, playwright and part-time gardener Billy Shakespeare pondered long ago. “That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

Fair enough.

But had those floral wonders been called something else--something less pleasing to the ear like glockenspiel or guacamole-- it’s a safe bet they never would have become so popular with twinkle-eyed Rhymin’ Simons like Bill.

In any case, outside the rose garden, there is much in a name.

In politics, there are people who will never get elected because of their names. Who ever would vote for someone named Moe or Shemp for President? Or Jimmy the Weasel? (OK, besides me?)

The same holds for finance. Would you do business with a commodities trader named Swifty or, as Steve Martin once asked, put your life savings in a place called Fred’s Bank?

Even personal relationships. Who would plan an unforgettable evening with that very special date around a concert by a group named Tupelo Chain Sex? (OK, besides me?)

That’s why I’m peeved over Opera Pacific’s staging of the quasi-musical “Kismet,” which closed an 18-performance run at the Orange County Performing Arts Center last Sunday.

As a show, “Kismet” had its ups and downs--some good performances and some not-so-good, some voices that were fine in the Broadway musical-comedy tradition and some that were irritatingly affected.

But as an artistic statement from Orange County’s self-proclaimed resident opera company, this bump-and-grind trifle with daytime TV soap opera stars was an absurdity.

“Kismet” is not opera. It’s not comic opera. It’s not even operetta. In fact, it’s barely a musical.

Its tenuous connection to serious music is a few melodies borrowed from that famous 19th-Century classical-music guy Alexander Borodin. But really, “Kismet” is ‘50s musical-theater equivalent of the B movie: flashy sets, titillating costumes and low-brow comedy.

It’s fitting that “Kismet” showed up during a TV ratings-sweeps month, when every station tries to lure viewers with tawdry movies and specials overloaded with busts and derrieres. In “Kismet” we were treated to the Princesses of Ababu: grossly stereotyped, monosyllabic, pelvis-wriggling savages purportedly captured in some faraway jungle where the natives--at least the women--wear cheek-revealing leopard-skin aerobics outfits.

What “opera” are we likely to get next year? That classic treatise on ancient Roman civilization and culture, “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum”?

Wacka-wacka-wacka.

In interviews before the run, Opera Pacific officials justified the inclusion of “Kismet” in their season with logic to the effect that (a) all opera combines music and theater; and (b) “Kismet” combines music and theater, so stop bugging us about it, OK?

By Socratic extension, I suppose we are therefore to conclude that (c) all opera is “Kismet.”

Don’t get me wrong. There is a time and place--and name--for everything.

Had I seen the same “Kismet” at one of this county’s dinner theaters, I would make no complaint as long as the peas weren’t overcooked and the coffee was hot.

So what’s the big deal? No doubt there are those who will argue that the only thing that matters is the quality of the production.

Gong!

If Opera Pacific gave us a great production of “A Streetcar Named Desire,” we would be enriched but equally misled. The group is selling itself as a new opera company of national standing. This year’s schedule may seem operatic at a quick glance, with “Kismet” apparently outweighed by Verdi’s “Aida” and Strauss’ comic “Die Fledermaus.” But with 18 performances, “Kismet” far outbalances “Aida” (5) and “Fledermaus” (8) combined.

If there really is an audience for legitimate opera in Orange County--as respectable turnouts for previous productions of “La Boheme” and “Aida” have indicated--then give them what’s advertised:

Opera.

If, however, Orange County won’t support the real thing, why not be up front about it and just change the name to “Musical Theater Pacific” or “Occasionally-Opera Pacific”?

As perceptive 17th-Century French guy Francois de La Rochefoucauld wrote: “Great names debase instead of elevating those who do not know how to sustain them.”

In this case, though, perhaps ol’ Shakespeare himself had the last word when he finally stopped waxing poetic about that troublesome rose and commented: “I cannot tell what the dickens his name is.”