UCSD Computer Says That’s HIMMEL All Over

Local TV personality Larry Himmel, host of Channel 8’s “San Diego at Large” program, trucks all over the county doing decidedly off-the-wall stories. Some people think he’s omnipresent.

Until recently, the folks in the public information office at UC San Diego didn’t know how omnipresent Himmel could be. When an office assistant tried to add a name to the mailing list, HIMMEL popped up repeatedly. It refused to allow even a single addition to the list. She tried to insert JONES, but HIMMEL wouldn’t let her.

Exasperated, she turned to colleague Paul Lowenberg, who deliberately erased HIMMEL from the list, then turned off the computer, in the hope of obliterating the thing once and for all. But when the system came back on, HIMMEL popped up again.

“It was like a ghost hiding in the machine,” Lowenberg said. “We thought we had a computer virus.”

Finally, a high-tech technician was brought in, and he de-HIMMELized the list, but Himmel will still receive mail from UCSD. He just won’t prevent others from receiving mail.

“That’s kind of how the San Diego TV audience feels,” Himmel said. “The people keep hoping I’ll go away, but I’m permanently, indelibly ensconced as the host of ‘San Diego at Large.’ Isn’t it wonderful?”

Whinnying Smile

Christopher Kleber, an El Cajon dentist, can’t stand the sight of brown teeth. So when a Shetland pony showed up as part of the entertainment at a party for the dentist’s patients, he wondered whether he could do something about the pony’s stained smile.

He decided to try what is known as a Hollywood Bridge, a thin porcelain facing like those used by movie stars. Kleber said it consists of thin artificial teeth affixed to the front surface of the patient’s teeth with dental adhesive.

Making such a bridge is really no big deal, Kleber said. He had just never made one for a horse.

The hard part was taking the impression of the pony’s teeth. Kleber tried the gel he uses on human teeth, but the pony, named Misty, kept eating it. Kleber switched to a hot wax, which he was able to leave in Misty’s mouth long enough--about 15 seconds--to make an impression. Now, he’s hoping Misty makes one.

Kleber wanted to do this partly because Misty’s trainer, Ginny Winslow, is a patient of an orthodontist who is a friend of Kleber’s. And because Misty has her own Hollywood dreams.

Kleber said Misty can slam-dunk a basketball as well as Magic Johnson and “dance the hula with finesse.” She has also been used in commercials for Heller Ford in Poway. He said interest has been expressed to use Misty in national ads for Ford cars.

“Maybe she can still become a Spuds MacKenzie for the auto industry,” Kleber said. “You know, ‘Straight from the horse’s mouth’--that kind of thing. We couldn’t fathom such a slogan for a horse with brown teeth. So we had to fix that. Now, maybe she can be the star she was destined to be.”

Have Gun, Won’t Grill

Raymond Rodriguez of Spring Valley just made a barbecue pit in the shape of a huge six-shooter--10 feet long, 5 feet high, 2 1/2 feet wide.

Rodriguez, being from Texas, of course, is used to outsized ideas. He said he always wanted a barbecue pit that looked just like a Western handgun. Seriously. He really said that.

You might be thinking Rodriguez is a prime candidate for “Late Night With David Letterman.” Actually, he plans to write Letterman, show him a photograph of the gun-like grill, and, with any luck at all, land an appearance.

As a welder, Rodriguez knew just what to do to make the gun. He put the grill in the cylinder. Instead of bullets, he’ll put charcoal briquets in there. Charcoal and lighter fluid will be stored in the handle of the gun. And when chicken, fish or Texas chili burgers are being barbecued, he can have the satisfaction of seeing smoke pour out of the barrel.

So what do his neighbors think of this smoking gun?

“They’ve never seen anything like it,” he said. “They ask, ‘Is it a real gun? Or a cannon ?’ They can’t believe it. I thought I’d make it real big, like somebody from Texas would.” He even nailed a map of Texas on the handle.

The only problem is that Rodriguez is so darned proud of the gun, he hasn’t used it for barbecues.

“I put some rags in there and lit them to see if it worked,” he said. “I haven’t barbecued anything, ‘cause I’m scared to get it dirty.”

Rodriguez thinks the gun may have a future as a public symbol. He hopes to write Los Angeles Mayor Tom Bradley for permission to cruise L.A. with the gun in the rear of his pickup truck, next to a sign that says, “No More Shootings!”

“Maybe it would make people think twice before they pulled the trigger on somebody,” Rodriguez said with the earnestness of a peace activist.

Or, as one cynic suggested, maybe the sign could say:

“Guns don’t kill people, only barbecue pits do.”