The Truly Great Hold Their Pride in Check

Lately George Bush has been proclaiming to audiences and reporters that he is the presidential equivalent of the “greatest.” Although I know that this braggadocio is probably a result both of his pleasure in victory and his advisers’ efforts to “de-wimp” him, I regard this type of burbling self-praise as an ominous sign, particularly in Presidents and presidential campaigns.

I once asked a class of adult students why pride was first among the seven deadly sins. “What does it goeth before?” I asked. The response was dead silence. No one knew that “pride goeth before destruction and an haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18). Actually, pride goeth after a fall too, as we invariably see in the orgy of nationalism that accompanies a country’s efforts to recover its honor from political and military defeats.

Pride, in moderation, is necessary for well-being; we all are aware of the misery and desolation that can occur when people lack self-esteem, when they lose their core sense of honor, when they feel ashamed of their feelings or actions. Yet many psychologists, in their understandable effort to build the self-esteem of disenfranchised groups and depressed individuals, have overlooked the comparable hazards of excessive pride. Indeed, the moral concept of pride has dwindled into the psychological concept of self-esteem, and the more self-esteem one has, presumably, the better.

Yet research from many branches of psychology confirms the dangers of excessive pride to individuals and to nations. Of these, the first is chauvinism. Jane Austen didn’t call her book “Pride and Open-Mindedness,” after all. Many studies find that when another person or group threatens one’s identity, honor or self-worth, prejudice and hostility result. Nevertheless, in sports, in government, in private relations, the attitude seems to be: The more pride, the better. Perhaps one reason is that we have less and less to be proud of.

We base pride on the bottomless pit of who we are, not on what we do; thus, assertions of greatness supplant demonstrations of greatness. Even small accomplishments are insufficient. Americans must be the best “in the world,” even if this is determined by having no competition, as in a World Series without the rest of the world or an Olympics without the Soviet Bloc.

On an individual level, emotional disorders are often the price of pride. It is striking to review the studies of shyness, depression, anger and loneliness, for these emotions often share a component of prejudice and bitterness toward others who have “let them down,” who are “no damn good.” The array of self-help books on the market illustrates the widespread emotional perfectionism in American life, the belief that one is not OK unless one is 100% OK all the time--never depressed, always self-confident, always beautiful. The goal of improvement is a sign of self-esteem, but the goal of perfection is a sign of pride, for it seeks an impossible superiority that cannot tolerate human failings.

Finally, and most dangerous in our leaders, excessive pride produces intellectual arrogance, an inability to learn from experience and an inability to be criticized. The greater one’s pride, the more dangerous the consequences of the inability to admit mistakes, as we see in marriage, politics or war. Scientific and political hubris perpetuates stupid and dangerous practices. A person who is too proud of his or her achievements in one area may be ashamed to admit ignorance in another, much less to accept help. One of the “punishments of pride,” said Henry Fairlie, is “the consequence of the illusions of self-sufficiency that it encourages.”

Of course, American society offers few rewards or role models for modesty and moderation. Our heroes have changed from valiant and modest characters (think of the roles played by Jimmy Stewart, Spencer Tracy or Gary Cooper) to violent and arrogant ones, such as Rambo and Robocop. Perhaps it is time to focus on some models of modesty, the people who have self-regard without self-absorption. Psychologist David Myers puts the goal of moderate pride very well. “The true end of humility is not self-contempt (which still leaves people concerned with themselves),” he observes. “False modesty can actually lead to an ironic pride in one’s better-than-average humility. True humility is more like self-forgetfulness than false modesty.”

Many of the truly great people in any field--art, science, sports, politics--are modest because they know what they don’t know; they know what remains to be done. As physician Lewis Thomas wrote: “The solidest piece of scientific truth I know of, the one thing about which I feel totally confident, is that we are profoundly ignorant about nature.” Ralph Richardson once said, “I’ve never given a good performance, that has satisfied me, in any play.” “The older I grow,” said H. L. Mencken, perhaps anticipating the Age of Reagan, “the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.”

My Uncle Ed used to say that he alternated between believing that he was completely useless as a therapist and that he was the greatest therapist since Freud. “Is it better,” he asked, “to have low self-esteem or to be out of touch with reality?” Given the choice I would rather have a depressed and doubting President who can inspire, lead, and persuade a citizenry of their greatness, than a smiling lightweight who, in ignorance and pride, keeps trying to persuade the citizenry of his greatness.