Disneyland Hotel Workers Fired for Not Shaving Mustaches

“Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work we go”--there are some Disney executives saying “shave or be fired.” I, myself a one-time bearded amusement park designer for some 17 years, definitely agree to the strict and all-American philosophy of the “clean-cut Disney look.”

After all, they are hired as actors and not employees. I totally agree that the Disney dynasty should absolutely terminate those individuals not adhering to the acceptable Fantasyland social behavior. Along with the Anaheim-bearded personnel, I feel it only fair to terminate the following, or let them clean up their act, namely, the Seven Dwarfs, Captain Hook and Mr. Smee, (mustache and long side burns), Pirates of the Caribbean (not to be named at this time), Stromboli and Geppetto, (Pinocchio’s old buddies), the Grand Duke from “Cinderella,” etc.

Oddly enough when you first enter the Magic Kingdom you are coerced into seeing (free of charge, of course) the Lincoln exhibit (do I need to say more, Abe needs a Gillette, right?). I realize the inconvenience of redesigning 40-year-old cartoons, characters in the park, billboards, etc., but what the heck, Disney imagineers can create new worlds, so they can easily clean up this hairy land (get out the scissors and erasers, gang).

DAVE RUDDEROW

Huntington Beach