Therapy Takes to TV : ‘thirtysomething’ a Baby Boomer Aid

During an interview on a quiet afternoon in his West Los Angeles office, psychiatrist Mark S. Goulston discussed the problems of a group of friends in their 30s, struggling to cope with life in the ‘80s.

Elliot and Nancy’s marriage is breaking apart because of its festering core of anger: “I wouldn’t be surprised if their parents were abusive,” Goulston offered. New parents Michael and Hope are earnest, well-meaning but neurotic: “Those are usually people who have been neglected; it didn’t surprise me that Michael’s father was neglectful and driven,” he noted. And free-wheeling Gary and Melissa, both single, are so afraid of intimacy that they refuse to have close relationships at all.

Goulston suddenly paused and laughed. “Now, don’t make it sound like I’m in a psychotic delusion and I think that these are real people,” he pleaded.

For the record, Goulston, an assistant clinical professor of psychology at UCLA with a private psychiatry practice, does not suffer from psychotic delusions. And Elliot and Nancy, Michael and Hope, Gary and Melissa are not real people--they are the main characters on “thirtysomething,” ABC’s naturalistic drama that explores the everyday problems of grown-up baby boomers with blunt honesty and almost excruciating detail.

Elliot, Nancy, Michael, Hope, Melissa and Gary, as well as Ellyn, the other member of the “thirtysomething” group, are the subject of a lot of talk these days. Goulston and many other therapists and educators are making “thirtysomething” a part of their practice.

Some therapists, especially those working with people in their 30s, are discovering that having their clients watch and discuss the interactions of these TV characters can help them better understand their own relationships with their families and the opposite sex.

“I have people coming in (who comment about ‘thirtysomething’) all the time,” said Los Angeles psychologist Ron Furst, who has recommended that some of his clients watch the show on a regular basis. “The show is a slow, almost meticulous exploration of day-to-day life. It’s the petty stuff that therapists end up dealing with all the time.”

At least 25 psychotherapists, teachers, members of the clergy, social workers and university professors have asked ABC to provide videotapes of certain episodes of the first-year drama series to use as grist for discussion with clients, students and counseling groups. (The network has provided tapes on a case-by-case basis.)

About the same number have written to the producers praising the show for its realistic depiction of human relationships--not only individual therapists but also mental health organizations, including the University of Texas psychology department, the American Assn. for Counseling and Development, the Huntington Counseling Center of Balboa, Calif., and Hospice of the Valley, a Phoenix hospice for the terminally ill.

For some of his clients, Goulston recommends certain upcoming episodes based on their subject as described in TV listings, or lends out his own tapes of particularly poignant episodes. He said that while “thirtysomething” may not explore different problems than other family dramas, it is unusual because the characters talk in detail about what they are feeling and thinking. “It’s the only TV show I have used,” he said.

Furst said that a number of recent TV movies and theatrical films, including “Fatal Attraction” and “The Burning Bed,” have been discussed by his clients, but “thirtysomething” is the only prime-time series they have latched onto.

“A lot of it (TV) is not about real people,” Furst said. “ ‘thirtysomething’ is more mundane. Only ‘St. Elsewhere’ and ‘Hill Street Blues’ occasionally have that sort of in-depth interaction.”

NBC reports that it received one request for a videotape of its family drama “A Year in the Life” from Sacramento’s Sutter Center for Psychiatry to include in a seminar about sexuality and intimacy among older people. But spokesmen for all three networks say that no other prime-time show has garnered as much attention from psychotherapists and their clients as “thirtysomething.”

Albert Marston, a professor of clinical psychology at USC, said that he hasn’t used the show himself but thinks therapists who do “have picked up on a very good thing. I think that the use of television for teaching and therapy purposes has been too limited, and I think we’re going to see more of it.”

Therapists interviewed for this story praised “thirtysomething” for not offering easy solutions to life’s problems. Episodes these therapists have asked their clients to watch for discussion in their therapy sessions include one entitled “Couples,” which re-enacts an argument from the point of view of each participant; shows exploring Michael’s reaction to discovering that his father is terminally ill and his attempt to return to normalcy after his father dies; and one in which Michael and Hope, who are Jewish and Christian, respectively, try to figure out what to do during the holidays.

The Rev. Charlie Hedges, 38, a pastor at Irvine’s South Coast Community Church, recently used a videotape of the “Couples” episode at a weekend retreat for singles in their mid-20s through early 40s. He wanted to encourage them to see other people’s points of view, in hopes of improving their own relationships with the opposite sex.

“When they see the videos, the principles come to life,” he said. “I would like to have a tape of every one of those shows for our library.

“The show was built for this baby boom generation,” Hedges continued. “It’s an introspective generation. Now we’re evaluating ourselves with the same rigor with which we used to evaluate our culture.”

Psychology columnist Joyce Brothers noted that although using drama and literature in therapy is not a new idea, the fact that “thirtysomething” examines day-to-day problems, as soap operas do, makes it particularly apt for use in therapy.

“It seems easier for people who are unable to delve into their own problems to talk about the soap opera characters to open a door to their own problems,” she said. “ ‘thirtysomething’ is in that mode. It would really be difficult for someone to identify with Mike Hammer, for instance, but it is easy for someone to identify with a family that has the same problems that everyone has.”

Whether the problems of “thirtysomething’s” young, affluent characters are representative of those of the majority of the population is debatable. Some critics have blasted the program for dwelling on the narrow concerns of a privileged group. One critic dismissed it as “a weekly diet of yuppie whining, nagging and complaining.”

Therapists interviewed for this story concede that the show’s subject matter may be more relevant to the young and affluent than the rest of the world. “This is not a show you would recommend to one of the homeless,” Goulston acknowledged. “Being introspective is a luxury.”

Still, most of tham felt that the basic relationships explored in the show make it worthwhile viewing for clients of all socioeconomic groups. “Unless the narcissism of the show gets to you--it gets to me sometimes--it’s a soap opera about life, regardless of your cultural background,” said Furst.

Goulston said that even those who claim to hate the show are offering him insights into their character when they explain why.

“When you’re in your 30s, you get competitive with the show,” he noted. “There is a real need to discount the characters, to get away from the real feelings it triggers. When they (clients) say ‘So-and-so is too neurotic,’ they’re really protesting too much.”

Goulston said that the nature of “thirtysomething” imposes a special responsibility on its writers. “What I would caution them about is the same thing I would caution a therapist about,” he said. “There is something very seductive about it; you have to be very careful not to toy with people.”

Producers Marshall Herskovitz and Edward Zwick, who have extensive personal experience with therapy, both their own and that of family and friends, say they are gratified by all the attention the show is getting among psychologists but have mixed feelings about becoming therapy gurus.

“I have a problem with the idea of people giving a television show any weight whatsoever,” Zwick said. “Part of that is a responsibility I feel a little bit uncomfortable with. This is drama; this is entertainment--we’re not presuming to answer the deepest and most abiding questions of people’s lives.

“One of the reasons people may be glomming onto the show is absence of community, the lack of real discussion of problems. The show could occasionally be a substitute for that, and I find that a little bit scary.”

Psychologist Dan Kiley, host of Lifetime cable-TV’s “People in Crisis” talk show and author of “The Peter Pan Principle,” said it’s up to the therapist, not the show’s writers, to make sure the program is used responsibly. “If you’re seduced into saying, ‘I’ve got to do things that way,’ then it will backfire, and if the therapist helps you to do that, then he or she is being irresponsible,” he said.

Michael Broder, a Philadelphia clinical psychologist, agreed, cautioning that it would be wrong to assume that because “thirtysomething” can help one client, it would necessarily help another.

“What is appropriate in one situation may not translate to the next,” Broder said. “Clients come in and talk about all kinds of things that are meaningful to them. They’ll talk about having heard their neighbors arguing through the wall and that they learned how silly they sound when they talk like that; does that mean you would recommend listening through the wall as a technique for therapy?”