Schools Urged to End Boy- or Girl-Only Events

Albert Killackey gets upset when boys and girls are treated differently--worked up enough to do something about it.

A student of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s philosophy and Jeffersonian democracy, Killackey became alarmed by separate activities for boys and girls at Durfee Elementary School.

So he has begun a crusade to end the traditional father-son, mother-daughter events that he says promote discrimination and sexism in the El Monte City School District.

“What’s being taught is a sexual role,” he said. “I don’t feel it’s government’s place to pick one social norm over another.”

PTA Recommendation

Killackey has persuaded the governing council of the district’s Parent-Teacher Assn. to recommend that its local units discontinue separate events for boys and girls. Now he wants the school board, which has been reluctant to act, to take a stand.

Ruth Reed, president of the El Monte Council of PTAs, said people had not realized the events were discriminatory before Killackey’s complaint.

“It’s something we had not thought of, and if we had thought of it before this, it wouldn’t have gone this far,” she said.

“It’s just something we do out of habit,” she said. “I have two girls, and my husband (school board member Dave Reed) was excluded.”

Annual Events

Since he moved to the district in 1986, Killackey has taken exception to two annual events at Durfee School that segregate boys and girls with parents of the same sex.

In November, the Durfee PTA hosted its “Pretty in Pink” banquet for mothers and daughters, which featured a makeup demonstration. In January, the Durfee PTA hosted “The Blue Crew” banquet, which featured a speaker from the Los Angeles Dodgers. The meal at that event was served by members of a girls’ service club at the school.

“Children are learning by this example,” said the 36-year-old construction worker and father of three sons and a daughter. “If one lives with discrimination, he becomes a bigot. It’s the same with sexism. We should not teach children to choose a life style or in any way hinder the spirit of individual choice.”

Moreover, he said, sexist opinions are being reinforced because they are being sanctioned by the school, which promotes the events and allows them to take place on public property.

School officials said there are no laws prohibiting father-son, mother-daughter events.

Mixed Response

Supt. Duane Dishno said the district’s policy outlining regulations for events held at schools omits any mention of sex discrimination. Moreover, Dishno said, he has heard a mixed response to the PTA recommendation and Killackey’s suggestion for a district policy.

“I’ve talked to some PTA members, and they seem to be divided,” he said. “Some say that what he is saying makes sense, and others say they know what he wants but that they would like to continue the tradition.

“There seems to be some real disagreement on the issue,” he said. But Dishno said the board will probably have to consider Killackey’s proposal.

Killackey said that before he could try to change district policy, he first had to explain to his sons why they had walked out of the father-son banquet for the third year in a row.

In past years, Killackey said, his sons, Michael, 12, and Kristopher, 10, were probably not ready for the full explanation. This year, the banquet coincided with the extensive media coverage of the 20th anniversary of King’s assassination, and he held long family discussions about the Jeffersonian ideals of liberty and equality.

When they walked out of this year’s banquet, Killackey asked his sons to look inside the hall.

‘Caucasian Night’

“I said to Michael, ‘What if we had Caucasian night when another group served?’ ” he said. “To segregate people based on sex is the same thing as segregation based on color, on handicaps or any other characteristic of human nature.

“They comprehended that, but not being exposed to everyday talk about segregation, they weren’t completely aware of it,” he said. “After they looked inside, then it hit home.”

Michael said none of the girls on his coed football, softball or basketball teams were invited to the Dodger banquet.

Kristopher admitted that before this year’s banquet, he hadn’t understood his father’s point.

“I see what my dad was trying to say,” he said. “That they were discriminating against little kids if they didn’t have fathers or little girls who don’t have mothers.”

Complained to Board

After explaining his position to his family, Killackey brought his complaints to the school board, which in turn referred the matter to the PTA.

Killackey had already contacted the school principal and PTA president about his complaints. And in preparing his complaint, he had also contacted the National Organization for Women and the Office of Civil Rights of the U.S. Department of Education.

In a letter to the board, Killackey said the segregated events may violate the anti-discrimination provisions of federal educational regulations.

Supt. Dishno responded at an April board meetings that the mother-daughter, father-son functions are exempted under a federal regulation. Dishno said the events could be held at the PTA’s discretion and suggested that Killackey speak with the PTA.

Killackey successfully pleaded his case to a special committee of the El Monte Council of PTAs, which recommend in a letter to the 16 local PTA units that the events be abolished.

‘Inadvertently Limiting’

“Although it was never our intention to exclude any student or parent from PTA-sponsored events, we now realize that in fact we were, in some cases, inadvertently limiting participation,” the letter said.

“This committee recommends that every social event planned and sponsored by the PTA should include all children and adults in your school community,” the letter continued. “Because all family structures are not identical, this committee further recommends that mother-daughter, father-son or any other activity that would exclude any individual be avoided.”

Darby Mangen, state public relations officer for NOW, said this kind of discrimination continues because school districts and school PTAs are traditional organizations that plan the same type of events year after year.

“It’s very widespread, subtle and even sometimes blatant throughout the state,” she said. “I think it’s probably not something that (school districts) are aware of.

“Things have changed, and our practices in school have created the problems he’s talking about,” she said. “Perfectly wonderful teachers are not aware that they are discriminating, like lining up boys and girls separately.”

Video Interview

After Killackey contacted NOW about the school situation, Mangen interviewed him as part of a video presentation in support of S.B. 724, sponsored by state Sen. Leroy Greene (D-Sacramento). The bill would require that teachers receive more education about avoiding all types of discrimination and would strengthen enforcement of California’s anti-discrimination law. The bill also would eliminate sex-segregated school functions, Mangen said.

The bill has been passed by the Senate and is awaiting action in the Assembly Ways and Means Committee. Killackey, who had never been involved in local government before, said he will help NOW lobby for the bill if he is successful in El Monte.

Reed said that although the PTA council recommendation is not binding on local units, it should solve the El Monte problem.

“I feel comfortable with the way that we have gone,” she said. “None of our local units have said they don’t like it.”

May Consider Change

School board member Dave Reed said the district already practices anti-discrimination policies but may consider amending them if they are found to be deficient.

“I don’t know if we have anything specifically in writing, but it could be changed if the board feels it’s needed,” he said.

To Killackey, the issue can be resolved only one way.

“The El Monte school board should adopt a stated position in the best interests of the students,” he said. “Otherwise, I have no reason to see that it will change.”