See Here, Is This Any Way to Treat Umpires?

When Kansas City went to Milwaukee for a series with the Brewers, Royals’ Manager John Wathan took his coaches out to a popular restaurant for dinner.

Wathan noted that the umpiring crew for the series also was there, and he asked the waitress to serve them a round of drinks.

Said the Sporting News: “At the suggestion of Kansas City first base coach Bob Schaefer, the bartender placed a carrot stick in each one.”

Said Steve Buechele of the Texas Rangers when asked by USA Today what baseball situation he would least like to be in: “Playing third base with the infield in on wet Astroturf. I’m not wearing a cup and Dave Winfield is batting.”

For What It’s Worth: In a survey of top professions in the United States by The Jobs Rated Almanac, major league baseball players were ranked 222nd, trailing, among others, astrologers, accountants, librarians, florists, secretaries, correction officers, barbers, piano tuners and meter readers. Major league umpires ranked 157th. In other sports, NCAA basketball coaches ranked 159th, NBA players were 214th and NFL players 241st.

Trivia Time: What NBA player was nicknamed Bad News? (Answer below.)

If you’re a Yankee fan, read no further. Writes Steve Marcus of Newsday: “Tommy John said that every year he’s played in a World Series, his wife, Sally, has given birth. He has four children, born in 1974, 1977, 1978 and 1981. John said that his wife is not expecting.”

Said Chicago Cubs Manager Don Zimmer after his team scored only 10 runs in eight games: “I know what my players are going through. I was in a 12-year slump.”

Zimmer had a lifetime average of .235.

Would-You-Believe-It Dept.: No Cleveland pitcher won more than seven games last year. This year, Greg Swindell already is 8-1.

Jerry Sullivan of Newsday, on the Laker-Dallas Maverick series: “Just as I was tilting toward Dallas, I was overcome by vivid images of the eternal playoff underachiever, Mark Aguirre, pouting away at the end of the Mavericks’ bench.

“On any championship drive, Aguirre is the car trouble. At every playoff party, he’s the stiff drink in the face. It’s been that way ever since his college days at DePaul, when he first developed this habit of disappearing at the most inappropriate moments.”

Has Larry Bowa worn out his welcome in San Diego? Writes Marty Noble of Newsday: “Though Bowa is not as volatile as he was last season, his players apparently are not happy to play for him. One Met player said he took an informal survey of Padre players last week and concluded: ‘They all hate Bowa.’ ”

Said Oakland slugger Dave Parker after playing in Fenway Park the first time: “It’s like arena football.”

Trivia Answer: Jim Barnes. Mistakenly, the nickname also has been applied to Marvin Barnes, who had a troubled career at Providence and in the NBA. Jim Barnes, a product of Texas Western, now Texas El Paso, was a 6-8, 240-pound enforcer who played a season-plus with the Lakers two decades ago.

Quotebook

Mack Brown, new head football coach at North Carolina, asked his toughest assignment since taking the job: “Getting J.R. Reid’s autograph for my 11-year-old daughter.”