KABC’s Elvis Exclusive

Imagine my anticipation to see a “news update” on Channel 7 notifying me that on the upcoming 11 p.m. news KABC will have an “exclusive” (no one else had the guts to tackle this story) report on “Elvis--Dead or Alive?”

I was imagining Howard Rosenberg salivating like Pavlov’s dog at the thought of KABC running another investigative expose.

With my interest piqued, I sat through 22 minutes of a hard-hitting “infotainment” lineup: a wrongful death suit over “Poltergeist III” star; “Rambo III” vs. “ ‘Crocodile’ Dundee II” opening night at local theaters; a look at benefit rock concerts; and L.A. radio’s women deejays. (Was Reagan going to the summit the next day? Naw--I must be mistaken--it wasn’t mentioned.)

Then the Elvis segment. Imagine my glee when my favorite journalistic “beacon” of the L.A. news community, Tawny Little (have they ever thought of co-anchoring her with Mary Hart?), showed a blownup photograph of a house near Graceland with a silhouette of someone sitting on a couch behind a screen door--Damn, Elvis is alive!!!!

Well, I for one had to tune in the next evening to watch an interview with a relative of Elvis insisting that Elvis has been dead and gone for 10 years only to have Harold Greene (a la Mike Wallace) ask the pertinent question, “Have you communicated with Elvis recently?”

It is nice to know that if I ever have a lobotomy and my IQ matches my wrist size I can still watch KABC News and still understand.

I am still wondering what happened to Howard R.? Is he slipping??

MARK RYDSON

Rancho Santa Margarita