Lakers Prepare for Battle : Team From Silver (and Black) Dome Comes to Forum

If everything they say about the Detroit Pistons is true--and there must be a reason that an all-points bulletin is issued wherever basketball’s bad boys go--this is how the Lakers could have spent the day off Sunday while awaiting their next house guests.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar watched the kung fu flicks he made with Bruce Lee.

Mychal Thompson called up his alter ego, Hulk Hogan.

A.C. Green glared until his mirror cracked.

Wes Matthews bit off the bald head of his Xavier McDaniel doll.

Kurt Rambis kicked sand in little kids’ faces.

Pat Riley listened to tapes of Sam Kinison screaming.

Magic Johnson sprayed graffiti on the walls of the “Isiah room,” the guest quarters he normally reserves for the use of best buddy Isiah Thomas.

Byron Scott invited Mike Tyson to come over and spar a few rounds.

Michael Cooper threw his dinner on the wall, and snacked on glass instead.

Mike (Diesel) Smrek walked across the street, had a head-on collision with a Honda, and totaled the car.

The Pistons, you see, have a way of bringing out the beast in people, which is one reason the National Basketball Assn. finals, which open with Game 1 Tuesday night at the Forum, may resemble the L.A. Lakers vs. the L.A. Raiders, whose renegade image the Pistons have adopted as their own.

Al Davis liked that idea so much, he sent the Pistons some football sweaters, although the Raider owner--perhaps fearing he’d lose his choice seats at the Forum--declined an invitation to give the halftime talk the last time Detroit was here.

As if the Pistons needed any more encouragement, Boston’s Kevin McHale grabbed Detroit’s Isiah Thomas at the end of the Pistons’ Eastern Conference-clinching win last Friday and offered some pithy advice.

“I simply told them to go out there and play (the Lakers) physical and tough,” McHale said. “Western Conference teams don’t like the rough stuff.”

If there’s a silver lining in all this potential mayhem, Jerry West found it. The Pistons may be bullies, but at least they’re not big bullies, the Laker general manager said.

“It’ll be fun to see a team not as big as us,” said West, now that the Lakers have bulldozed their way through a thicket of 7-footers: Mark Eaton, James Donaldson and Roy Tarpley.

Green seconded that motion Saturday, after the Lakers had eliminated the Dallas Mavericks to win the Western Conference title for the seventh time in the ‘80s.

“I can use a rest from my neck looking up all the time,” said the 6-9 Green. “At least there won’t be any tall guys looking down at you pushing you around.

“But that doesn’t mean it will be any less physical. We’ll be expecting it to be physical, because they’re a very aggressive team.

“They may not be as tall, but they’ve got some dynamite packages. You can’t beat Boston with a bunch of wimps. You’ve got to have some strong players.”

The Pistons have enough TNT to level a city block: center Bill Laimbeer, who puts neighborhood watch groups on alert when he returns to his hometown of Palos Verdes; forward Rick Mahorn, who shocked even a battle-scarred McHale when--according to McHale--he deliberately tried to step on McHale’s broken foot during last season’s playoffs; and forwards John Salley and Dennis Rodman, who aren’t as big as the Mavericks’ Tarpley but who attack the boards with equal vigor.

Detroit also has two players who once played backup to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: James Edwards and Chuck Nevitt.

Add the offensive firepower of Thomas, Joe Dumars and Vinnie Johnson in the backcourt and Adrian Dantley at small forward, and you can understand why the Pistons have most teams looking for foxholes. Defensively, they’ve held teams to under 100 points in 7 of their last 9 playoff games, and in their last dozen playoff games have held opponents to an average of just 90.8 points a game.

The Lakers won both of the teams’ regular-season meetings: 106-104 in Detroit on Jan. 8, and 117-110 at the Forum on Feb. 21, but in each case, there were extenuating circumstances.

In the first game, the Pistons led at the half by 11 but got hit with two technical fouls in 21 seconds of the third quarter, a loss of poise from which they never recovered. In the second game, in which Thomas scored 42 points, they had a 16-point lead early but were done in by of all people, Wes Matthews, who had 14 points, including 5 in the last 30 seconds.

At the time, the Lakers were playing their best basketball of the season. The Pistons, on the other hand, had yet to acquire Edwards, who has proven to be a valuable addition from the Phoenix Suns, and were just beginning to meld into the force that steamrolled through the East.

Just to make sure the Lakers didn’t think they had caught the Pistons at their best behavior, Laimbeer had a little exchange in February that may be repeated more than once in June. Abdul-Jabbar, after scoring on a hook and getting fouled by Laimbeer, pointed at the Detroit center and headed his way until intercepted by referee Jess Kersey.

“What did he say?” Laimbeer said afterward. “He said, ‘Don’t hit me in the head.’ I just told him, ‘Get out of my face and keep on playing.’ ”

Welcome to L.A., Pistons. Nice to have you back.