First Place Is Reasonable for Dodgers

What’s so hot about the Dodgers? Seriously. Come on. Tell me. Let me in on the secret. What’s so good about them? Give me nine good reasons why they should be in first place. One for every position. OK, so make it five good reasons. Three good reasons. Three designated reasons. What are the Dodgers doing right?

You think these are smart-aleck questions. They are not. They are sincere. I am not down on the Dodgers. I am up on the Dodgers. They are obviously doing something right. I’m just darned if I can figure out what it is. I’d have better luck figuring out who framed Roger Rabbit.

At a glance, Tom Lasorda’s boys are sorda good. They have decent pitching. Decent hitting. Adequate speed. Improved fielding. Kirk Gibson was a nice addition. Jesse Orosco was a nice addition. Mike Davis was a . . . uh . . . Kirk Gibson was a nice addition.

But to be in first place, day in and day out? To run away from the rest of the National League West like Risen Star ran from Winning Colors at the Belmont? To open up a big, fat lead on such fine ballclubs as the Giants, Astros and Reds well before the All-Star break? How did the Dodgers get to be this good? Tell me. Really. What are they doing right?

I know what the Oakland A’s are doing right. Carney Lansford started out hitting like Rogers Hornsby, Jose Canseco is slugging like Hank Aaron and Dennis Eckersley has more saves in four months than the L.A. Kings’ goaltenders have had in four years.

I can see what the New York Mets are doing right. Darryl Apple is the big hit of the Big Strawberry--I always get that backward--and the Met pitching staff is so tough, when Andre Dawson of the Cubs recently charged the mound, the mound charged back.

I can even see what the Detroit Tigers are doing right, although it’s not as clear. When the woebegone California Angels, still billed by KTLA-TV as the greatest team since the 1927 Yankees, arrived in Detroit for the start of a trip, the Tigers took one look at the Angel pitching and said to themselves: Mmmmm, three hours of batting practice.

Anyway, I can see what these teams are doing right.

But, how about them Dodgers?

What’s gotten into them, besides Tommy’s postgame smorgasbord? How have they done what they are doing? How does a fifth-place ballclub return for another season with a few new bodies, overcome injuries to the starting shortstop, the starting third baseman, the starting center fielder and the bullpen’s right-handed closer and remain in first place? How does a ballclub stay above the crowd when the No. 1 starting pitcher becomes a ghost of his former self and the No. 3 starting pitcher goes on the disabled list at age 42?

Catcher Rick Dempsey said the other day: “We’re just out there hustling and scratching and clawing every night.” OK, I’ll buy that. Second baseman Steve Sax said: “There’s more talent here than meets the eye. This is a deep ballclub, so one key injury doesn’t destroy everything, the way it used to.” OK, I’ll buy that, too.

Pitcher Orel Hershiser said the Dodgers are doing it with desire and attitude. “We believe in ourselves more than before. We don’t get too far down after a couple of losses. We go to the ballpark the next day expecting to win, not just hoping to win.” OK, I’ll really buy that. Put it on layaway and hold it for me until October.

The Dodgers are to be commended, not condemned. When I went to watch them play the Cubs the other night, there was booing, just because the Cubs knocked Fernando Valenzuela around. Hey, when the day was over, the Dodgers were in first place by 4 1/2 games. Booing? What is this--Philadelphia?

I suppose the jeering was for Valenzuela, not for the Dodgers. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Was a time, Fernando wouldn’t have been booed if he had set fire to Chavez Ravine. He was so popular, they nearly renamed the place Valenzuela Ravine. Now, though, the hefty lefty is a man with an average fastball and a no-longer-surprising screwball, and he is getting pulled after 65 pitches instead of 165. In his last couple of starts, he has lasted about as long as Michael Spinks.

Alfredo Griffin is hurt. So is Pedro Guerrero. So is Jay Howell. John Shelby lost considerable playing time with an injury. Don Sutton just went on the disabled list. Mario Soto was just signed in time to go on the disabled list. About the only completely healthy Dodgers are Shawn Hillegas and Vin Scully. Even Fred Claire was questionable for a while with a bad back.

And yet, the Dodgers go on and on. They have overcome. They have become such expert survivalists, I’m pretty sure Lasorda is loading up on canned goods and powdered milk. Every time the Astros take a step forward, they take two steps back. Every time the Giants get their act together, they trade it to somebody for Ernest Riles. Every time the Reds think about becoming contenders, they remember that their owner is Marge Scott, and skulk back to fourth place, where they belong.

Let us hear it, then, for the Dodgers, who so far have gotten absolutely no respect. Or, am I the only one who gets the feeling that nobody east of Nevada believes the Dodgers have any business being in first place? Do you, like me, get the feeling that the entire baseball world is waiting for the Dodgers to stop and take a little reality break? These guys are 10 games over .500 on the road but get less respect on the road than a squirrel trying to cross a busy freeway.

So, OK, you say you want nine reasons why the Dodgers are doing so well? You say you can come up with even more reasons if necessary, including enough reasons to carry the Dodgers right into the National League playoffs?

Well, so can I.

Reason No. 1--I believe that 23 of the 24 Dodgers are utterly convinced that if they lose too many ballgames in a row, Kirk Gibson will beat them up. Every time that guy flings his bat or spikes his helmet, somebody sitting on the bench is telling the guy in the on-deck circle: “Geez, get a hit, willya? Don’t get Gibby mad at us.” This explains the new Dodger Desire.

Reason No. 2--Jeff Hamilton, not Pedro Guerrero, is the Dodger third baseman. Period. End of sentence. End of Hamilton’s sentence in the minor leagues, too. He’s been sprung. Paroled. Pardoned. This guy can play third base, so leave him there. Guerrero can play first. Mike Marshall can play right. Mike Davis can play if Mike Marshall can’t. Guerrero’s injury was a good thing, because it gave Hamilton a chance to show just how good he can be.

Reason No. 3--Of all the publicized pickups--Gibson, Davis, Griffin, Orosco, Howell, Sutton, etc.--the one that nobody mentions is my personal favorite. Rick Dempsey gives ironman Mike Scioscia an occasional rest, which Scioscia can use, whether he likes it or not. Dempsey’s still as tough as his prizefighting namesake, and already has more home runs than Guerrero, more than Davis, more than Franklin Stubbs, more than Scioscia. He’s the best catching acquisition anybody’s made since the Durham Bulls signed Crash Davis.

Reason No. 4--Opponents feel sorry for the Dodger pitching staff, because it’s full of Tims. Tim Belcher, Tim Crews, Tim Leary. People always take pity on Tims. It’s a Dickens thing. They think Tims are weak and fragile. If the other Dodger pitchers were smart, they’d change their names to Tim, too. Tim Hershiser. Tim Pena. Trust me, it works. The Dodger pitching staff is full of Tims, and the manager is full of Tums.

Reason No. 5--Fred Claire keeps signing players. If the roster limit was upped from 24 to 44, he’d still be looking for a 44th man. The other day, the Dodger GM signed Mario Soto. It seemed to me that the Dodgers needed Mario Soto the way Whitey Herzog needs a shower cap. But, what the heck. Claire’s been on the money up to now. He gave the Dodgers so much depth, injuries don’t worry them. So, Soto will probably work the World Series opener. What do I know?

Reason No. 6--Don Drysdale also joined the Dodgers this season. It can’t be coincidence that the Dodgers are a better team when Drysdale is around. I hear he sits upstairs and brushes back other broadcasters.

Reason No. 7--It has to do with Swami Alfredo. Last year, the Dodgers did the Three Amigos salute. Didn’t work. This year, Alfredo Griffin stands in the dugout with a towel wrapped around his head, like a turban, looking like something out of Rudyard Kipling, and puts blessings on the heads of teammates. All hail Allah Alfredo. Look for him in the Unocal 76 station in the Dodger Stadium parking lot, filling up his camel.

Reason No. 8--John Shelby. OK, confess. How many of you thought what Shelby did last season was a fluke? How many thought he would go back to being the ordinary outfielder he appeared to be with the Baltimore Orioles? Turns out this guy can play in a big way. Earl Weaver, you really messed up a good thing. If Baltimore still had Shelby, it would raise the team’s number of good players from zero to one.

Reason No. 9--Mike Marshall could have packed his bags. Asked for passage elsewhere. Gone where his future was assured. In March, it wasn’t even clear if the Dodgers had a position for him. Since then, Marshall has hit pretty well, fielded pretty well and hustled every inning. Hey, come to think of it, that’s a pretty good description of what the Dodgers have done.

I’m not sure how you’re doing it, but keep doing it.