Slip In This Name Among Leaders in Slips of Tongue

New York Mets announcer Ralph Kiner has been getting a number of mentions for his malaprops lately, bringing a protest from a San Diego reader who claims Kiner isn’t in the same class as Padre announcer Jerry Coleman, who he says deserves equal space. So, here are some selected Colemanisms:

--”Here’s the first pitch, down the middle, ball one.”

--”Next up is Fernando Gonzalez, who is not playing tonight.”

--”Jesus Alou is in the on-deck circus.”

--”Whenever you get an inflamed tendon, you’ve got problems. OK, here’s the next pitch to Gene Tendon.”

--”There’s someone warming up in the bullpen, but he’s obscured by his number.”

--”D’Aquisto has a blister on the index hand of his pitching finger.”

--”We now pause 10 stations for a minute identification.”

--”From the way Denny is shaking his head, he’s either got an injured shoulder or a gnat in his eye.”

--”He slides into second with a stand-up double.”

--”So the Padres take a three-game series from the Giants, three games to two.”

--”And Kansas City is in Chicago tonight, or is that Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter, Kansas City leads in the eighth, 4-4.”

Said Lisa Gastineau to Newsday when asked if it’s true that estranged husband Mark is a prevaricator, as some of his New York Jets teammates claim: “I call him Joe Isuzu.”

Trivia Time: What do announcers Tom Kelly (KNX), Joe Morgan (ABC-TV) and Jimmy (The Greek) Snyder (formerly of CBS-TV) have in common? (Answer below.)

Cincinnati Reds Manager Pete Rose, on catcher Bo Diaz, who walked only four times in his first 265 at-bats: “‘Bo just likes to swing. He likes to hit the ball. He might swing at one near his shoe-tops and another one over his head.

“Latin players seem to be more free-swinging. The Alou brothers were wild swingers. Cesar Cedeno swung at a lot of bad pitches. You could wind up and just hold the ball and Manny Sanguillen would have swung.”

Telling-it-like-it-is dept.: Said Vinny Testaverde after completing 1 of 5 passes for 4 yards with 1 interception in Tampa Bay’s 20-7 loss to Indianapolis in their exhibition opener: “Basically, I stunk.”

12 Years Ago Today: On Aug. 9, 1976, John Candelaria became the first Pirate pitcher in 69 years to throw a no-hitter in Pittsburgh by beating the Dodgers, 2-0. Nick Maddox pitched the first Pirate no-hitter at Pittsburgh in 1907. Candelaria’s no-hitter was at Three Rivers Stadium. No Pirate ever threw a no-hitter at Forbes Field.

Washington Redskins defensive end Markus Koch, who said he was going to Canada to become a carpenter and eventually hoped to become a captain of a charter boat, had this to say upon ending his holdout: “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”

Trivia Answer: The same names as major league managers Tom Kelly (Minnesota), Joe Morgan (Boston) and Jimmy Snyder (Seattle).

Quotebook

Bob Verdi of the Chicago Tribune, after the Tribune Co. purchased the Chicago Cubs in 1981: “I don’t know why we bought the Cubs. We already had a perfectly good company softball team.”