Bowls and Sponsors Need Matchmaker

Joe Gergen of Newsday, noting that many of the college bowl games are taking on corporate sponsorship, says we now need a matchmaker “to bring compatibility to the marriages.”

For instance, instead of the John Hancock Sun Bowl, he suggests the John Hancock Independence Bowl. In that vein, and with apologies to the official sponsors, here are some other suggestions.

--C&H; Sugar Bowl.

--Del Monte Peach Bowl.

--Coppertone Sun Bowl.

--Hanes Cotton Bowl.

--Minute Maid Orange Bowl.

--Sunkist Citrus Bowl.

--Hawaiian Punch Aloha Bowl.

--Gatorade Gator Bowl.

--Taco Bell Fiesta Bowl.

The Rose Bowl? A sponsor from the floral industry would be appropriate, or you could go another route. How about the Old Grandad Rose Bowl?

Get it?

From Alan Eagleson, executive director of the NHL Players’ Assn., on the Wayne Gretzky deal: “Gretzky is 27. He’s a depreciating asset. That $15 million becomes maybe $12 million a year from now, less in 1990 and so on.”

That recalls these words from Cincinnati General Manager Bill DeWitt in 1965 after the Reds traded 30-year-old Frank Robinson to Baltimore, “I know he’s 30, but it’s an old 30.”

The next year, Robinson won the American League triple crown as the Orioles won their first pennant in history and then swept the Dodgers in the World Series. In Robinson’s six years at Baltimore, the Orioles won four pennants.

Trivia Time: What does Angel Manager Cookie Rojas have in common with the man he calls the most valuable player in the American League, Oakland outfielder Jose Canseco? (Answer below.)

General Manager Mike Lynn of the Minnesota Vikings, whose team has already played in England and today faces the Chicago Bears in Sweden, is now looking to China.

“Can you imagine 500 million Chinese wearing NFL hats?” Lynn said. “With that kind of market we could solve the trade deficit.”

As for the team’s globetrotting, he said, “After all, we are the Vikings. They roamed worldwide. They probably even discovered America. We’re just following in their footsteps.”

David Berkoff, asked what he did before breaking the world record in the 100-meter backstroke at the Olympic swim trials, said: “I took a nap and then had some bean burritos. The burritos are good luck. I’ll take a few microwavable ones to Seoul.”

Said Michigan State quarterback Bob McAllister after Coach George Perles put the Spartans through their first practice: “We’re surrounded by toughness. Coach Perles, no doubt he’s humble, but he’s a tough guy. Everything about our program is toughness and discipline. Even our secretaries are tough.”

The way Ron Borges of the Boston Globe sees it, the only winners so far in the settlement between Mike Tyson and manager Bill Cayton are the lawyers.

Of Michael Winston, Tyson’s lawyer, Borges said: “Winston, who is also the lawyer for Tyson’s mother-in-law, reportedly will earn $250,000 for his services.”

Trivia Answer: Both were born in Havana, Cuba.

Quotebook

Boston Manager Joe Morgan, asked what he said to the players to inspire the slugging sprees against Detroit: “I just tell them to keep hitting the ball in the air. Ground balls don’t go too far.”