RESTAURANT REVIEW : Hollywood Glamour, Paranoia Blend With Savory Smoke at Columbia B

I’d seen slow going on Gower Street before, but never flat-out gridlock. How many cars had been abandoned by their drivers here, two or three deep from the curb? Eight? Nine? The other cars were actually honking, and it takes a lot to get anybody to use a horn in our part of the world.

It turned out to be a valet parking snarl at the very restaurant I was going to. Apparently, one diner had brought everything to a halt by accosting the valets and insisting he knew the Columbia Bar & Grill’s owner. Then another, pointing out his Porsche parked in the middle of the street, coolly observed that they might have a little trouble getting it started.

Right. This is Hollywood. Gotta say you know somebody; gotta have a Porsche, whether it’s tuned or not. Columbia B&G; opened during the first mania for traditional American cuisine, and the name most certainly refers to the CBS Studios across the street. This is the glamour room for this media-heavy part of town.

Now, I know this much about Hollywood: Looking right is everything. I was going to a restaurant with a skylight and plants and a lot of paintings by Hockney and Lichtenstein and so on. As a precaution, I’d borrowed an expensive watch and brought along four beautiful young women, each taller and/or blonder than I am, in the hope of looking like someone not to be stuck in a corner and ignored. Hollywood is a paranoid town.

My mission was to find out about the Columbia B&G;’s new chef, David Jones. The word was that he is not merely into barbecuing but obsessed with smoke. There’s a different grilling wood every day, so you might get a hamburger cooked over almond wood (interesting, I’d say) or tuna steak over pecan wood (rather more interesting). And there’s usually a salad of pecans, grapes, papaya and loudly applewood-smoked chicken on the menu.

Smoke is a complex substance containing more than 200 identified chemicals, and I concluded that Jones definitely knows his hydrocarbons. One of the most pleasantly smoky things I’ve ever had was the free-ranging chicken barbecued on chips from an oak barrel that had been used for Cabernet wine.

The chicken was sort of lukewarm, as my glamour bodyguards were quick to point out, but the combination of that rich, delicate smokiness with a light cranberry sauce was memorable.

There’s some American food, including exceptionally luscious crab cakes, moist and golden tan. But since the menu changes (at least a little) every day, mostly what we have is large-scale eclectism. A sort of lamb Wellington in filo pastry (good wild mushroom duxelles , tender lamb, overdone filo). Jambalaya served on fettuccine (pretty convincing jambalaya, with shrimp, crab and hot sausage--and of course red as well as green bell peppers).

My crew of assistant diners approved the mushroom madness that seems to rule the menu at the moment, especially the strudel filled with wild mushrooms in red bell pepper sauce and a filet mignon with about the same selection of black chanterelles and hedgehog mushrooms. They also liked the grilled tuna with soy sauce, red ginger and wasabi butter, a toned-down version of Japanese horseradish.

However, I was the only one who liked the crisp, aromatic, bittersweet salad of fuyu persimmon and stalks of baby fennel, and nobody was convinced by the tagliatelle with seafood in a vague Indonesian sauce. And I had a big problem with the “chicken and chili spring rolls.”

They arrived with amazing speed, but the filling seemed warmer than the crust. Could they possibly have been microwaved? (Of course not, inconceivable, perish the thought.) They were odd spring rolls altogether, though, since the crust was not flaky, and the filling included not only chicken but cheese. They really gave the impression of miniature chimichangas with a ginger dipping sauce.

Rather heavy desserts here, like macadamia nut fudge brownies and pear tart with a thick layer of marzipan. Now the big question. Were they going to give me prompt service? Amazingly, I got my check in 90 seconds.

Or were they just getting rid of me? Hollywood is a paranoid town.

Columbia Bar & Grill, 1448 N. Gower St., Hollywood. (213) 461-8800. Open for lunch Monday through Friday, 11:30 a.m to 3:30 p.m. and for dinner, from 5:30 to 11 p.m. (Friday night till midnight); Saturday for dinner, 5:30 to 11 p.m. Full bar. Valet parking. All major credit cards accepted. Dinner for two, food only, $48 to $84.