Only in L.A. / People and Events

You might say Mayor Tom Bradley is confident of being reelected. Nearly three weeks before he faces City Councilman Nate Holden and eight other candidates at the polls, his honor’s aides held a news conference to show off the site of his victory party, the Biltmore Hotel.

Bradley’s reelection to a fifth term is “something of a foregone conclusion--don’t tell Nate I said that,” mayoral aide Dee Dee Myers quipped to a television reporter.

Holden responded by defiantly announcing he would have his own victory party at his West Los Angeles headquarters on election night, April 11.

The polls, which show Bradley far in the lead, aren’t the only indication that Holden might be having some name recognition problems. A reporter who asked directory assistance for the phone number of the Nate Holden for Mayor Headquarters Thursday was in turn asked by the operator:

“How are you spelling that?”

However, even if the councilman loses, he’ll have reason to celebrate in one respect.

He can stop buying back semiautomatic assault rifles.

Rafael Ruiz picked a bad time to appear before Los Angeles Municipal Judge Mel Recana.

Recana came home one day to find the knife-wielding Ruiz ransacking the place.

The judge, aided by his nephew, Jesse Lapuz, 20, overpowered Ruiz. For their actions, they have each received a “Courageous Citizen’s Commendation” from Dist. Atty. Ira Reiner.

The next magistrate before whom Ruiz appeared, Superior Court Judge Jams M. Sutton, sentenced him to 24 years in state prison.

Homemade car-security system? Clearly visible on the dashboard of a Dodge spotted in an outdoor lot on Spring Street was an assortment of martial arts and firearms magazines.

Los Angeles’ status as a literary center will no doubt be enhanced next month with the appearance of “The Best of Bad Hemingway.” It’s a selection of entries from 11 years of the Hemingway-parody competition at Harry’s Bar & Grill in Century City.

The brave heroes in this tome utter such lines as, “At least I do not have a groin pull like the great Earl Campbell of the Oilers of Houston.”

Papa himself wouldn’t be so happy with the book, even though the competition has been disbanded. Publishers Weekly magazine notes that Hemingway was once quoted as having said: “The step up from writing parodies is writing on the wall above the urinal.”

Truly.

Just when you thought you’d heard the last of her. . . .

Spectrum Vehicle Auctions, which peddles cars throughout Southern California, holds its next auction April 1-2 at the Ventura County Fairgrounds with special guest star Jessica Hahn.

But will it speed up room service?

Los Angeles’ newest luxury hotel, Checkers, which is due to open downtown next month, promises a fax machine in every guest room.

Not yet hatched, the Andean condor egg obviously couldn’t fly itself from Miami to the Los Angeles Zoo to help with the captive breeding program.

In the past, Eastern Airlines, as a public service, had given free passage for an incubator and zoo keeper to transport such eggs to the West Coast. But when the egg was laid on Monday, Eastern was not flying to California because of the ongoing machinists’ strike, and other flights to the West Coast were heavily booked.

A Miami zoo official spent all day looking for an airline to transport the egg, which becomes more susceptible to damage as the embryo grows. Finally, Pan Am agreed to provide the tickets.

And it made a safe landing. “We have it in our incubators,” said Michael Wallace of the Los Angeles Zoo.

Another sure sign of spring: On Thursday, radio station KFWB reported a spill of baseball catcher’s masks on the Ventura Freeway.