Journalists Take Comic Aim at Pistol-Packin’ President

Washington’s journalistic Establishment lampooned President Bush at a white-tie dinner Saturday night as a “pistol-packin’ poppy” whose idea of a kinder, gentler nation is “a cop on ev’ry corner and a gun in ev’ry hand.”

Bush and Vice President Dan Quayle were prime targets of the 104-year-old Gridiron Club, whose annual dinner is one of the biggest social events in the capital. The main business of the evening was to spoof the President and other prominent figures with humor designed to “singe but never burn.”

Power Elite Attends

More than 600 guests included the journalists’ bosses and a cross-section of the Washington power elite, including Supreme Court justices, Cabinet members, members of Congress and governors.

The club members, portraying their victims in a series of satirical skits, roasted Bush, Quayle and other prominent figures, including Massachusetts Gov. Michael S. Dukakis, former Texas Sen. John Tower, House Speaker Jim Wright, White House Chief of Staff John H. Sununu, billionaire developer Donald Trump and Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat.

But it was First Lady Barbara Bush who made for some of the highlights of the evening. First, Mrs. Bush, who is frequently asked why she doesn’t dye her white hair, showed up at the dinner in the Capital Hilton Hotel wearing a dark strawberry blond wig.

A murmur went through the room as the woman whose husband calls her “the Silver Fox” appeared with the short wig.

Chides Husband

Then, in a prepared sketch, Mrs. Bush, played by Cheryl Arvidson of the Dallas Times Herald, chided her husband for his initial opposition to controls on semiautomatic assault weapons.

“Lay that Uzi down, George, lay that Uzi down,” sang the on-stage Mrs. Bush. “Pistol-packin’ poppy, lay that Uzi down.”

Later, a journalist posing as a White House speech writer sang the “Bush Battle Hymn” with these words:

Mine eyes have seen the glory of a kinder, gentler land,

With a cop on ev’ry corner and a gun in ev’ry hand.

Tiny tots in public schools will pledge allegiance on command,

George Bush is in command.”

Then the Gridiron chorus sang: “Sis-boom-bah and hallelujah, Eli Yale will boola-boo ya. Read my lips so I can rule ya. You gotta read them right.”

Quayle Takes Lumps

Quayle, played by Richard T. Cooper of The Times, took his lumps in a duet with former President Richard M. Nixon, portrayed by John Hall of Media General.

To the tune of “I Believe in You,” the Nixon stand-in sang:

You’re not the dim bulb I had been led to believe I would see.

Are you an airhead dilettante lightweight? You sure could fool me.

Cause I believe in you, I believe in you.

I think you’re perfectly qualified,

As the Veep, you’re swell.

All my concerns have been mollified

If Bush stays well.

To which the chorus responds: “George, stay well.”

House Speaker Wright was portrayed as bemoaning his lost pay raise and longing to be viewed in the same light as the late Texas Rep. Sam Rayburn--with respect. To the tune of “My Buddy,” he sang: “My money.”