OUR MALL : Something Far More Powerful Than Shopping Is at Work at Sherman Oaks Galleria

Thousands of people pour into the Sherman Oaks Galleria each day. This tremendous hall of concrete and glass is probably the best-known edifice in the San Fernando Valley. Movies have immortalized the Galleria, a Top-40 song has celebrated its quintessential “Val” qualities.

The average Galleria shopper visits five or six times a month, spending at least an hour and $100 on each occasion, according to mall executives. But shopping is not the only attraction here. Something far more powerful is at work.

Sociologists suggest that malls like the Galleria have become modern America’s new town squares. In a place like Los Angeles--where no central city exists--shopping malls have assumed the social functions of a downtown, a place where neighbors can meet and people-watch.

“There is the notion of this place being an actual community, a civic center . . . an extension of the neighborhood,” said Alexander Moore, a USC anthropologist who has studied malls.

What Kind of Neighborhood?

But if Moore is correct, what kind of neighborhood is it? In the specific case of the Galleria, what have Valley residents gotten themselves into?

Look closely, for you won’t see a graceful Italian piazza with classical architecture. You won’t see a bustling French boulevard bordered by sidewalk cafes and elegant boutiques. Nor will you be reminded of a simple, old-fashioned Main Street.

You see a thousand lights, instead. Blinking, flashing, distracting. Lamps hanging from the ceiling, bulbs embedded in the floor. Florescent, incandescent, neon. Glowing, back-lit billboards advertise everything from cigarettes to security guards to naval warships.

You notice Muzak that plays low, almost imperceptibly. You can’t quite hear the melody, just its annoying, pre-programmed sound.

And you smell a thousand odors. Pipe smoke from a tobacconist’s shop. Chili con carne, peppermint ice cream and pork satay from the dining area. Wander within reach of a department store and you hit a solid wall of perfume.

Uninhibited. Forbidden. Passion.

Confused and dismayed, you stumble through a brash new world where scores of trash cans and ashtrays line the hallways. This place is designed for consumption. But do it quick because parking is free for the first two hours only.

So get your photos processed in an hour, have shoes repaired while you wait and buy instant-win lottery tickets at the information booth. Grab a quick perm at the beauty shop, have your ears pierced at the jewelers.

Leave enough time for shopping, though, because that’s what this place is all about. More than a hundred stores are poised for your arrival, eager to serve you, anxious to sell you. . . .

Sex.

Photographs of scantily clad women hang in a dozen clothing shops. Mannequins with artificial nipples wear skin-tight dresses. Mannequins lounge in silk teddies. A poster in an underwear shop shows a woman’s hand ripping off a man’s briefs.

Sex and the Bookstore

Even the bookstore features sex--the writings of Danielle Steele and Sidney Sheldon are placed up front. Even the art gallery features titillation--a print of a woman in a black leather bra is prominently displayed. Even at the sock store, where wool hosiery is far from sensual, the proprietor has named the place “Joy of Sox.”

Private moments in public.

And they aren’t just selling the accouterments of passion. You can mold your own body into sexiness at the mall fitness center. You can learn to walk and act sexy at the mall’s modeling school. You can be in close proximity to writhing human flesh at the mall’s bar and grill, which offers “beefcake” dancing.

The mind reels as you stagger from one stall to the next.

Samurai swords in a display window. Plastic babies in clown hats on the floor. At the pet shop, puppies lick the glass and guinea pigs are on sale this month: $14.99.

Ultimately, you must leave because the Galleria has no beds, there is no room at the mall. You must go home. Near the exit, a sign thanks you for visiting.

Come back tomorrow.

This is your new neighborhood.

MALL TALK

* “I would guess that our animal shelters are executing dogs at roughly the same rate that places like this are selling them.” --Alexander Moore, anthropologist, discussing a Galleria pet shop

* “We try to be very responsive to the community. Every Hanukkah, we bring in the menorah and either Elliott Gould or James Caan.” --Jonathan Alpert, mall general manager

* “Why would anyone want to know about the mall?” --A shopkeeper

MALL MINUTIAE

* Average number of Sherman Oaks Galleria shoppers in a day: 10,000.

* Average amount of time they spend in the mall: 1 to 2 hours.

* Average number of shoppers a day who get ears pierced: 27.

* Number of public restrooms: 1.

* Public drinking fountains: 6.

* Public ashtrays: 63.

* Number of airplanes that have crashed through mall roof: 1.

* Most common item in Lost & Found: keys.

* Most unusual item in Lost & Found: snake.

* Most unusual item in fast-food section: Hummus-Bi-Tahini (chickpea mash).

* Best-known entertainers to perform in courtyard: The Fat Boys.

* Largest religious artifact to appear in courtyard: a 25-foot menorah.

* Greatest number of babies in courtyard at one time: 300 (1988 Baby Cupid contest).

* Number of mannequins: 211.

* Mannequins modeling underwear: 21.

* Stores specializing in underwear: 3.

* Stores specializing in books: 1.

* Most expensive publication in book shop: Random House Dictionary, $79.99.

* Most expensive wig in beauty shop: “The Cher,” $557.

* Most expensive long-haired dog in pet shop: Maltese, $649.

* Average number of guinea pigs sold in pet shop each month: 15.

* Average number of samurai swords sold in cutlery shop each year: 8.

Figures are estimates gleaned from interviews with mall executives, terse discussions with merchants and a series of independent investigative visits to the Galleria. FOR PIX SLUGGED MALL, MALL I