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SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA JOB MARKET : WEATHERING THE WORKPLACE : THE TAMING OF THE JERK

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Finally, everything should be perfect at work. You have a new chair, one with arms for the first time in your career. And by leaning way back you catch a glimpse of the San Gabriel Mountains between two skyscrapers.

But the job still stinks. Your productivity isn’t any higher. You’re tense. No promotions loom on the horizon.

You know the problem isn’t you. In your heart you are poised to take on the world. Glancing around the office, you see the object of your discontent just two work stations away.

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It’s the jerk .

Define jerk. He is the man who telephoned his secretary while she was in the hospital and said, “I was going to fire you for excessive absenteeism, but I found a mistake in your work so I’m going to fire you for that instead.”

Or the small-town newspaper publisher who posted a chart of all his female employees’ menstrual cycles to track their good and bad days. Or the boss who told her employees to go home an hour early on Christmas Eve and docked them the pay. Or the newcomer who called a co-worker at home with the flu, waking him at 7:30 each morning to remind him to call in sick.

Although the term “jerk” is not an official psychiatric term, and many psychiatrists abhor its use, the general definition seems to be anyone who causes problems for you. But the meaning is often stretched to anyone who is different.

“The term is meant to be hostile and demeaning,” said Chaytor Mason, a psychologist at USC. “The jerk is anyone whose behavior I don’t understand or accept.”

Thus the jerk-on-the-job doesn’t fall into any particular category. He can be an obstructionist and hard to get along with. He can be a chronic complainer or someone who takes credit for the work of others. He can gossip maliciously or tell lies about colleagues. He can lose his temper and yell at co-workers. He can even be a practical joker who never knows when to quit.

What would cause someone to be so difficult?

Often it is simply a way of “asserting oneself, of saying I exist, of saying I am important,” said Lewis Aiken, a psychology professor at Pepperdine University.

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According to Jerald Jellison, a professor of social psychology at USC, people are often difficult in the workplace because there is a payoff. By treating them gently, by avoiding them, by not making demands on them, colleagues and supervisors actually encourage difficult behavior.

Usually the difficult person’s presence will be tolerated for a time, said Aiken. “Like alcoholism or drug addiction,” he said, “there isn’t a lot of attention paid by management until it begins to interfere with productivity.”

One of the biggest mistakes is labeling the difficult worker a jerk, said Jellison.

“That suggests that they are more or less permanently that way, that that is the kind of person he is,” said Jellison. “Can you change the type of person you are? The answer is usually no.”

Instead of looking at the dilemma of a difficult co-worker as a “people” problem, the experts suggest defining it as a “behavioral” problem. Behavior can be more easily changed than personalities, they say.

For example, if a bank teller will not look customers in the eye, a supervisor can suggest doing so gently. If an employee works slowly to avoid the difficult assignments that end up being handed out to a few hard workers, a supervisor can come up with a more even-handed means of dividing the work.

And, for the worker who seems to be constantly infringing on your desk or using your tools, the experts suggest a firm but polite “no” the next time they ask for something. For the chronic complainer, some suggest designating a specific time to air staff complaints.

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Ellen Bravo, organizing director of the 9 to 5 National Assn. of Working Women, teaches a seminar on how to work with difficult people.

“Try to understand the jerk’s behavior and in that way reduce him to size,” she advises. “His problem comes from insecurity, not from a position of power. Figure out what you want in relation to that jerk and make a plan. Ask yourself, if I do nothing what do I get? Nothing. But if I take some action, speak up, what do I get? At least a chance. Be smart, that’s the key.

“If you know you have no power, then that’s an option you have to respect. But don’t overestimate the other’s power. Always go to someone in good faith, the first time. Respect your anger, but know when and where to express it. Be in control.”

The following are basic suggestions from the experts on how to deal with the difficult person on the job:

- Look around. Is the difficult person causing problems only for you or do other workers have problems with the same person? Baring your soul to a friend on the job can be constructive in finding out.

- If the problem turns out to be yours alone, examine your behavior. Is there something you are doing to cause a co-worker to treat you badly? Many social psychologists recommend that you confront the person and ask, “Is there something I am doing to cause you to behave toward me in this manner?” If the problem is presented in a non-judgmental manner, it can often be talked out.

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- If the problem is shared by many people, you can take action together. It isn’t wise to approach the difficult person like a lynch mob. Instead select one person as a representative of the group. Sometimes asking a supervisor to handle the problem is a good option.

- USC’s Mason avoids confrontations by a different approach. “Ignore the behavior and treat the difficult person as if he is perfectly reasonable,” said Mason. “Reassure him. Look for a common ground. Coddle him and make sure that he doesn’t feel threatened.”

- Know your rights at work. If someone is doing something illegal, such as sexual harassment, there are specific ways to deal with it. Tell the harasser that the attention is unwanted and must be stopped. If it continues, put your objections in writing and keep a copy. Look around for other victims. Use in-house grievance procedures and report to a supervisor. Give your employer a chance to rectify a problem. But if nothing is done and you need legal help, call a lawyer, the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission or the state Fair Employment and Housing Department.

- Most important is to be realistic. Simple avoidance of a difficult person is often the best and easiest course. Take action when a situation becomes intolerable, but understanding is the key.

“There are a lot of people I can’t understand--anyone who is loudmouthed or critical,” said Mason. “I am liable to leave all those people in the jerk category. But let the airliner crash and have the two of us float around in a boat for awhile. Let us share our dreams and see all our defenses drop. If I begin to see his world, then I might begin to accept him. That’s an interesting thing about people. If one will let himself understand the other guy, the jerk, he becomes wow, a little different, but a nice guy.

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