Adoptive Parents Called Very ‘Real’


I am livid every time the Los Angeles Times (or any other paper, for that matter) runs an article regarding the meeting of adopted child/birth parent (“A Mother Gets a Day She Can Call the Best,” May 15). The reunion always reunites the child with the “real” parent, when in fact the child has met the birth parent.

Please, get it through your heads, we, the adoptive parents, are the real parents! We have gone through the grief process and mourning associated with infertility. Our families are created through a deliberate and calculated process known as adoption, that while fraught with emotion and fears before its finalization, allows us the privilege of parenthood. And now we are parents--real parents.

We are tired of being treated by the media as 21-year baby-sitters until the “real” parents reunite with the adult child. It is always at the back of our minds that our child, when grown, might want to meet the woman who gave him the gift of life; but we will remain his real parents.