Department of Water and Lactation:One of the...

Department of Water and Lactation:

One of the perquisites of working for the DWP, as the department’s house publication points out, is the availability of “on-site electric nursing pumps for mothers wishing to nurse upon returning from maternity leave. A free, canvas-colored shoulder carrier with all of the accessories for the nursing pump will be provided.”

It wasn’t exactly the classic Wild West chase.

A 30-year-old transient who allegedly stole a horse from a Glendora rancher was pursued by a posse into a bramble-filled canyon, where he dismounted and fled.

So the authorities called in a weapon that Wyatt Earp never had--a Sheriff’s Department helicopter.

A few minutes later, Kevin William Wright, 30, was apprehended, Glendora Police Lt. Jim Woolum said.

And he was booked on suspicion of. . . .

Grand theft--horse.

Whole Lotta Shakin’ Going On, Part II: One day after the Montebello quake, the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce conferred a star on the Walk of Fame to rocker Jerry Lee Lewis.

Believers in “earthquake weather”--a sudden warming trend accompanied by a stillness in the air--weren’t surprised to read that the temperature in Montebello on Monday was 82, a jump of eight degrees over Sunday.

President Bush’s plan to clean up the air would get a real boost if more people drove models similar to Big Richard, a two-horsepower jalopy designed by engineering students at Cal State Northridge.

The cigar-shaped car averaged 1,279 miles per gallon in Sacramento to win the West Coast Supermileage Competition.

Of course, in the city, Big Richard only gets about 1,270 miles per gallon.

Someone used masking tape to alter the last digit on the Los Angeles city population sign at the junction of the San Diego and Harbor freeways. Now it reads 2,535,70 1 .

Welcome to L.A., whoever you are.

A somber sign of the times:

A judge threw out a lawsuit by a female stabbing victim who alleged that security was negligent at County-USC Medical Center because her attacker had later been able to sneak into the facility disguised as a worker and stab her again.

“The only way to handle determined attackers is to station police personnel by every citizen,” declared Superior Court Judge David Yaffe. “We cannot protect residents from determined assailants--this is unfortunately the situation here.”

Today is Flag Day--and Ski Demski plans to celebrate in a big way, naturally.

“Long live the pole,” said Demski, referring to the 132-foot-high flag post on his front lawn in Long Beach. Demski plans to hoist a 47-by-82-foot American flag today, as well as a 20-by-38-foot banner in honor of American soldiers missing in action.

He has so far resisted legal attempts by the city to chop down his pole on grounds that the flags make too much noise when they flap.

Since Tuesday was no special occasion, Demski, 59, displayed two flags that covered only 330 square feet of sky.

Retired actor Herbert Streicher was indicted here by a federal grand jury Tuesday for allegedly hiding about $80,000 in earnings from the Internal Revenue Service.

If Herbert Streicher doesn’t ring a bell, perhaps you’d know him better by the name he used in “Deep Throat”--Harry Reems.

Ever wonder what porno stars do after they retire?

Reems is now a real estate salesman.