HEALTH & FITNESS : Change Toward Fitness: Why Is It So Hard to Be Committed?
This is it. This time you are determined. You are going to lose those unwanted pounds. Or stop smoking. Or stop drinking. Or stick to your exercise program. Or stay on your hypoglycemic, diabetic, low-sodium or low-fat diet.
You have grown weary of the stops and starts that have perpetuated your chronic pattern of behavior. Your latest diet is a good example. You have read about lowering fat intake and increasing exercise to ensure a healthier, well-toned body. You realize that consistency is the key to success. All that is left now is simply to do it.
You shop for a new jogging outfit with all the trimmings. Your old tennis shoes just won’t do--you need new shoes to match your new attitude. As you examine the assortment of styles, a salesclerk approaches. “Walking, running or aerobics?” he asks. You soon learn you must not wear the same shoe for all three.
Succumbing to this revelation, you leave the store armed with shoes, clothes, wrist and ankle weights and an irresistible gizmo called a pedometer, which will measure the speed, distance and amount of calories you burn while running. Too bad it takes an advanced degree from Caltech to program the thing. You leave the store grateful that your credit card limit has prevented you from grabbing a nifty-looking home gym, which would no doubt have ended up as a hatrack.
On the way home, you stop by the health food store, where you load up on organic fruits and veggies and splurge on vitamins. For a solid week you rise and shine at dawn and run two miles. The next week something happens--a cold, an unexpected business trip, a light morning mist. You vow to resume the exercise program once the distraction has passed. Somehow one week becomes two and then three, until your former resolve is but an embarrassing memory, causing you to feel like a failure once more. Reverting to your old habits, you punish yourself suitably.
This tongue-in-cheek scenario notwithstanding, why can one person start such a program and achieve success, while another starts and then fails, over and over again?
Norton F. Kristy, a Santa Monica-based licensed clinical psychologist, frequent Orange County lecturer and author of numerous books on human behavior, believes motivation is one-third genetic and two-thirds learned.
“By the time we are approximately 9 or 10, our core personality is formed. Some of us are more naturally motivated, more purposeful, energetic and decisive, while others of us are the opposite. Those who are naturally less motivated must work harder to stay motivated,” Kristy says.
The second most important factor in motivation is latent or unexpressed anger emanating from childhood experience, Kristy says. “Whether a person has had a family life filled with support and encouragement or with stress and guilt has a strong impact on the level of latent anger he or she carries around inside.”
The person with a higher level of latent anger is more likely to engage in self-destructive, self-sabotaging behavior. “Some people become depressed,” Kristy says. “Others punish themselves with alcohol, chain-smoking, drugs, food or other behaviors.
“The way we see ourselves is paramount as regards motivation because if we see ourselves as unattractive, undisciplined, losers, weak or incompetent, we will be more likely to continue a behavior that reinforces a negative self-image.”
Conversely, people who view themselves as worthy or as making a concerted effort to change while rewarding themselves during the process will be more likely to break a longstanding cycle of destructive behavior. This system of self-encouragement and reward cultivates motivation and brings about lasting success, Kristy says.
Research shows that health-improvement plans should be viewed as a lifelong process rather than an “event” goal. For example, a person who loses weight in anticipation of a special occasion, such as a class reunion or wedding, or who starts an exercise program to look good for another person, is far more likely to backslide and fail based on a rejection or a lack of continuing interest in the program. These aborted attempts can be compared to New Year’s resolutions that soon slip away.
“People tend to give up early on because, going in, they expect to give up,” Kristy says. “So rushing out to buy all the right stuff . . . is often accompanied by the deep-down knowledge that it won’t last--another form of self-sabotage.”
Many people arrive at a personal crossroads and make a life-style change for the sake of their health. Here are two examples:
Alan, a Santa Ana businessman, was 41 when he was diagnosed with skin cancer. After he completed surgery and chemotherapy, doctors offered a highly optimistic prognosis. Feeling he had been given a second chance at life, Alan was determined to not merely survive, but thrive. He set out to learn all he could about disease prevention and nutrition. Formerly a self-described “Twinkie king” and a light social drinker, he embarked on a diet that excludes what he believes to be cancer-provoking foods and all forms of alcohol.
“I made a decision to do everything I could to keep from getting sick again,” says Alan, now 53. This includes a lasting commitment to a healthy balance between work and play.
Twelve years ago, Sarah, a Dana Point retiree, gave up her 47-year, two-pack-per-day cigarette habit. A former mathematician and engineering aide in the aerospace industry, she characterizes herself as a stubborn individual who waited until her doctor insisted that smoking was killing her. “He told me that circulatory problems I had developed were caused by my smoking. So I stopped right there and then.”
She recalls the craving: “Oh my, yes, how I craved a cigarette, particularly during the first two months after I quit. But I was never tempted. Nothing in the world could have made me go back to them once I made up my mind to quit.”
Sarah has since given up cholesterol, forgoing the eggs and butter she once “dearly loved.” She has forsaken alcohol as well. She walks daily in accordance with doctor’s orders, and the old habits that once brought pleasure have been replaced by the resignation that this is the way it must be forever. She will soon celebrate her 84th birthday.
The elusive phenomenon that finally forces an individual to take action can be described as deeply spiritual, or simply deeply felt, and is frequently motivated by fear of death or losing the quality of one’s life.
For others, hearing or reading about life-threatening illness is enough to facilitate a change. Tom Leykis--who is host of an afternoon talk show on KFI radio in Los Angeles but whose biggest listening audience, he says, is in Orange County--made a drastic change in his life style after a guest, John Robbins, spoke about nutrition.
Robbins, whose devotion to good nutrition led him to give up his share of the Baskin-Robbins ice cream fortune, is the author of “Diet for a New America.” Leykis, hearing graphic descriptions of heart-bypass surgery and arteries clogged with sausage-thick fat, promised to read the book. “I was over 30. I had just moved to California, got a great new job, and I didn’t want to die before my time. I was 85 pounds overweight. I was afraid of missing out on great things in the future. I was ready.”
During the past nine months he has observed a strict vegetarian diet that excludes all animal products, including dairy. He has lost 70 pounds. He rides his bicycle daily and believes himself to be in the best physical shape ever.
“If someone had told me a few years ago that I would walk down the meat aisle of a grocery store and get physically ill looking at a rump roast, I would have told them they were out of their mind!” he says with a laugh. “But here I am, a strict vegetarian. I have more energy than I’ve ever had, and I don’t get out of breath climbing a flight of stairs. Unbelievable!”
Can motivation be perpetuated through repetition? Ken Norton, the former heavyweight world champion boxer, believes it can. Best known for his fights against Muhammad Ali and his gentlemanly behavior outside the ring, he says consistency, humility and personal pride are essential in cultivating and maintaining motivational skills.
Norton is almost fully recovered from near-fatal injuries he sustained in a car accident in February, 1986. He and his wife, Jackie, recently celebrated the opening of a Gold’s Gym that Norton owns in Mission Viejo. He motivates employees and club members alike with daily pep talks.
“People come in here who haven’t exercised in 20 years or ever,” he says. “They know what they have to do, but a lot of times they are afraid they won’t be able to follow through. I tell them never to be afraid to ask someone for help.
“Surrounding yourself with support is real important. Surround yourself with positive people who will think and act the way you want to. Soon you will find their attitude will rub off on you, and you will gather your own strength.”
“People who are too proud to ask for help often fail.”
If at first you don’t succeed? All the experts agree: Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself. A sincere desire for change is the most important element in any transformation. Five Steps to Self-Sabotage
1. Procrastinate. Wait for “just the right time” to start.
2. Expect too much too soon.
3. Do not be satisfied with anything less than perfection from yourself.
4. Let a momentary relapse be an excuse to discontinue your program.
5. Blame external influences (your job, your spouse, etc.) for your difficulty in staying with your goal. Five Steps to Keep the Faith
1. Your goal should be the most important thing in your life, and each day you stick with it will make the next day easier.
2. Think about the increasing self-respect you will feel as you continue to stay with your goal.
3. Be grateful you have found a plan and have the resources that can help you reach your goal. 4. Ask a friend, loved one or professional for support.
5. Remember how you felt the last time you relapsed. Is it really worth it to feel that way again?
