Young Men Abandoning Hopes for Marriage : Prices for Brides Skyrocket in Nigeria

Christian Onoh can hardly afford a girlfriend, let alone a wife.

“I was saving to get married, but now there is no hope,” said Onoh, 25, a commercial driver in the Ninth Mile Corner district of Enugu in eastern Nigeria.

Bride prices are skyrocketing in Nigeria, one of a number of areas in which economic difficulties are imposing strains on social customs and attitudes.

Tumbling oil prices hitting a country burdened with huge foreign debts have forced the military government to impose a strict economic adjustment program. The prices of most goods have more than doubled over the last three years.

Onoh’s marriage plans were dashed because of the rising cost of the gifts that tradition demands a suitor give the parents of his intended bride.

30 to 50 Jars of Goods

According to local custom, a bride price includes 30 to 50 jars of palm wine, cola nuts, clothes and cartons of beer, as well as food for the guests.

“If you don’t have at least 3,000 naira ($400) you can’t hope to marry these days,” Onoh said.

Wages, for those lucky enough to have a job, are often well below $27 a month.

“Many of us cannot think of marriage,” said Christopher Onyia, 24.

Growing numbers of young men are being frustrated by their inability to pay the bride price, said Regina Obodougo, a 44-year-old mother.

“It’s sad, but it is our culture and it cannot change,” she said. “Even if we change the culture, would the young men be able to feed our girls?”

Four Sons Won’t Marry

Obodougo has four unemployed sons and says, “They are not expecting to marry.”

For those who manage to perform traditional ceremonies, poverty may prevent them from having their marriage vows sanctified by the church.

“In this part of the country, we are mostly Christians. Couples will still have a church wedding even after having three or four children, just to satisfy their Christian beliefs,” said Venatius Okwor.

“But these days when we marry the traditional way, we don’t talk of a church wedding . . . there is no money to buy even the wedding gown,” he said.

Traditional rulers in some areas have attempted to limit the escalating cost of marriage by placing a ceiling on bride prices, grading young unmarried women according to educational attainments.

But the extravagance communities demand of the celebrations is nullifying the effects of such limits, Ibrahim Dasuki, sultan of Sokoto in the north and leader of the country’s 30 to 35 million Muslims, said recently.

Assails Extravagant Weddings

In a public pronouncement, Dasuki spoke out strongly against extravagant ceremonies, saying prohibitive costs are forcing people to stay single too long.

According to Obodougo, deteriorating economic conditions have also created tension within families.

“Children are not respectful to parents because they can’t feed them or pay school fees,” she said.

“The money I give my wife for the month barely lasts two weeks. . . . I have not been able to pay my eldest son’s school fees,” said Ik Ozor, 35, a driver earning less than $10 a month.

Hard times are forcing some parents to abandon their children’s education, so some youngsters are supplementing the family’s income by hawking petty goods along the streets, said Obodougo.

“Mothers find oranges or peanuts for their small children to sell. . . . They must forget about schooling,” she said.