Philadelphia reliever Greg Harris has a special glove because he can throw with either hand. Pittsburgh outfielder Andy Van Slyke didn’t know that, and he did a double take when Harris came into a game against the Pirates.
Van Slyke, who was on third, asked third base coach Gene Lamont, “Why does he wear a glove like that?”
Phillie third baseman Randy Ready, overhearing the question, said, “Because he’s amphibious.”
Said Van Slyke: “Does that mean he can throw underwater?”
Bright remark: Said umpire Bruce Froemming to a player who complained that a play was too far away for Froemming to see it: “The sun is 93 million miles away, and I can see it.”
Grounded: Moss Klein of the Sporting News reports that the New York Yankees have banned all liquor on team flights after a couple of airlines complained of rowdyism by the players and threatened to withdraw their charters.
Klein: “A group of players had turned flights into frights for the airlines, destroying property, engaging in food fights and upsetting flight attendants.”
Said one veteran Yankee: “You walk off the plane and feel embarrassed. There’s food all over the floor, pats of butter stuck to the ceiling, seats torn out . . .”
Trivia time: What were the real names of Dizzy and Daffy Dean?
A loss at home: Washington Redskins quarterback Doug Williams, who sought to have his wife Lisa arrested for stealing a $75,000 check, told the Washington Post after she filed for separation: “Lisa’s a con artist. She sold me. I thought she was apple pie and ice cream until the ice cream melted and the pie was cold.
“I had said, ‘This girl is exactly what I’m looking for, the kind of personality who could deal with people.’ But she was a con artist. It’s the worst sack I’ve ever had in my life.”
Alphabet soup: Bruce Keidan of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, on the latest of boxing’s title-recognizers, the World Boxing Organization: “The WBO’s international headquarters is a phone booth outside a candy store in Hoboken. Send $10 by check or money order and the WBO will send you your choice of a championship boxing belt or a mail-order degree in divinity.”
Numbers game: From Bill Sangster, dean of the engineering school and faculty athletic representative at Georgia Tech: “Statistics in the hands of an engineer are like a lamppost to a drunk. They’re used more for support than illumination.”
Trivia answer: Jay Hanna Dean and Paul Dee Dean. Dizzy also went by the name of Jerome.
Add Dizzy: Explaining why he gave out three different birthplaces to reporters, he said, “I give ‘em each a scoop, so their bosses can’t bawl the three of ‘em out for writing the same piece.”
Quotebook: Bob Hope, complaining about his golf game: “Titleist offered me $50 not to use their balls.”