Judge Mirrors Spousal-Abuse Myths : Misplaced Regrets Over Sentencing a Symptom of the Violence Malaise

I recently sat through the sentencing of Navy Cmdr. Larry J. Evans as an advocate and supporter of his former wife, Mary Kouwe, whom Evans was convicted of pistol-whipping and raping while they were married.

Superior Court Judge Bernard E. Revak sentenced Evans to 11 years in prison, less than the moderate 14-year sentence recommended by the Probation Department. And he presented this judgment with a 20-minute soliloquy on how sorry he was to so strictly sentence a man with such professional potential and such an honorable background.

Revak said this was probably the most difficult sentence in which he had been involved in more than 24 years as a prosecutor and a judge. It was difficult, he said, not only because of the individuals involved but because state law required him to sentence Evans to prison.

“I think Cmdr. Evans will understand it . . . because I think he is perhaps the most intelligent defendant that has ever appeared in front of me. . . . If I had the discretion, I would grant you probation. There is just no question in my mind I would grant you probation.

“I think the punishment that you have received and will receive, loss of a military career, unlikely reunification with your children, with your wife, the embarrassment of such a conviction, the loss of your dental license, everything that you have worked so hard for all of your life, all these things I feel are tremendous punishment.”

Revak’s comments, in which he repeatedly pointed out the virtues of the man he was sentencing while making little mention of the physical and emotional abuse inflicted on the victim, provide a clear example of some of the myths about family violence and spousal rape that still permeate our society.

The first myth about wife beating that came through in Revak’s remarks was the idea that the woman is responsible for the beating, that she aggravates the man to a point of no return--pushes his buttons so to speak--so that he has no recourse but to beat her. “I think both of you have to share a lot of responsibility for what went on,” Revak said.

Revak supported this myth by saying that there was conflicting testimony on who obtained the gun and who initiated its use.

He also said he was troubled by the fact that the former Mrs. Evans had “willingly engaged in sexual relations with her husband” after obtaining a restraining order against him.

“I think it created a false sense of security or home for Mr. Evans. . . . And so I think that in some small way she is responsible. I think he is responsible. I think it’s a tragedy.”

Regardless of Mary Kouwe’s comments or behavior surrounding the use of the weapon, regardless of whether she had earlier consented to sexual relations with her husband, she did not ask to be brutalized and terrified. And the actions Larry Evans was convicted of--rape, rape with a foreign object, forced oral copulation, assault with force likely to create great bodily harm and assault with a deadly weapon--are not justified. Kouwe’s injuries included black eyes, a broken ear drum, chipped tooth and injury to her nose, not to mention the emotional trauma. Rape is not an act of sex, but an act of violence. And rape by a husband, psychologists say, can be more traumatizing than rape by a stranger because the victim feels not only violated, but betrayed.

Despite the nature of the crime, however, Revak repeatedly emphasized the defendant’s positive attributes. “Here’s a man with a lot of skills. He has been to Harvard Medical School, where he brought himself up by his bootstraps in the South, went to school in Florida, graduated first in his class . . and now, here he stands, convicted of extremely serious felonies.”

Yet, Revak would have sentenced this man to perform community service for battered women and poor people if he had had his way.

Revak did acknowledge, however, that Evans’ sentence might deter other men from beating their wives. Revak said “a message has to be sent, because here is a man who was up for captain at an accelerated rate, who knows he might have been an admiral some day. And the prospect of sentencing such a person to prison is not pleasant with me . . . but nevertheless here is a man who attacked and beat his wife.”

Revak was not certain, however, whether Evans was one of those men who consistently batter their wives, as his wife had testified.

“I feel confident that Cmdr. Evans will never commit such a crime again, or any crime for that matter. . . . But notwithstanding that, there are a lot of men that continually batter their women and continually get away with it.”

One of the stereotypical attitudes most clearly expressed by the judge can be seen in this comment: “ . . . a lot of men that continually batter their women.”

Perhaps men still beat their women because they feel women belong to them. When a wife or woman is viewed as property, she can be abused as a thing rather than treated as a human being. Sex becomes her duty, and she becomes, once again, “unrapeable.” The truth is that sexual expression of love is one thing, forced sex is another. No one consents to violence when she marries or enters an intimate relationship.

Many women may believe that spousal rape and battery could never happen to them, and many men may believe that Mary Kouwe’s victimization is an isolated experience shared by few women.

But the attorney general says that 50% of California women will be assaulted at some time in their lives by someone they love, and one out of three women in the state will be confronted by a sexual assailant. It is estimated that 80% of these sexual assaults will involve a perpetrator whom the victims know.

How can we educate people about domestic violence? A lot is happening locally to dispel the myths about family violence and to help both victims and perpetrators.

A countywide Task Force on Domestic Violence was recently formed to consolidate efforts in aiding victims. The Center for Women’s Studies and Services (CWSS) offers workshops for hospital personnel on how to work with the battered woman and training for police officers. The CWSS Family Violence Prevention Center also has a crisis hot line, a shelter, a legal clinic to help women obtain temporary restraining orders and divorce assistance and to provide courtroom advocacy. The center also provides individual and group counseling.

The San Diego Volunteer Lawyer Program also recently began a Domestic Violence Prevention Project.

There is also assistance for perpetrators. The city attorney’s Domestic Violence Unit recommends counseling at the YWCA’s Men’s Counseling Program as part of the sentencing.

But, before these resources can be used, the problem must be identified. As a society, we need to remove the problem from behind closed doors and acknowledge it as a serious crime.

Attitudes like those presented by Judge Revak make that difficult. Wife beating and rape are condoned when the perpetrator is acknowledged as “very successful, very intelligent, a tremendous educational background,” while the survivor’s plight is virtually ignored.

Spousal abuse and spousal rape need to be understood as actions that can escalate to death, and they should be dealt with in our judicial system in the same manner as stranger incidents.

Would we examine the bank robber’s educational background and potential for career advancement and would we ask the bank teller he held up why she let the crime happen?

Revak referred often to the Evans case as “a real tragedy.” The real tragedy is not Larry Evans’ sentencing. He was allowed to remain free pending appeal. Nor is it Mary Kouwe’s victimization. She now calls herself a “survivor.” The real tragedy does not even lie in the future of the Evans’ three children, who we hope will receive help so that they do not perpetuate the cycle of violent relationships.

The real tragedy is the message that can be inferred from Judge Revak’s comments--that family violence is somehow a less serious crime that should receive a less serious sentence than other crimes of violence.