Airing a Grievance Over Airline Policy

It is the little things in life that count.

The fresh-cut flower from a loved one by the side of your morning cup of coffee.

The hand-lettered card on your birthday.

The cheery “Have a nice day!” from your letter carrier as he passes you on the sidewalk.

Personally, I have never experienced any of these things. But I have had a full can of Coke on an airline.

A few words of explanation: Two years ago, I mentioned in yet another earth-shattering column that one reason I liked Piedmont Airlines was that they gave you a full can of Coke for free when you flew and not just a little plastic cupful.

Actually, a full can of Coke is too much for a short flight. But it was the thought that counted. And I once switched airlines for this very reason and figured out a full can of Coke cost me only $304.

Still, it was a nice gesture.

Those of you who follow the financial pages know that more than two years ago, USAir bought Piedmont and has been working out the merger of the two airlines ever since.

They had to mesh reservation systems and training procedures and even redesign their cockpits so pilots from both airlines would feel comfortable.

But one of the biggest problems was what to do about the free cans of Coke. According to the Charlotte Observer (Piedmont was based in North Carolina), the Coke issue was a very serious one. And USAir Chairman Edwin I. Colodny once ducked the question “when asked about one of the most burning issues in the minds of Piedmont passengers.”

I know this sounds like a joke, but it wasn’t. Many of Piedmont’s passengers liked the airline for the same small reason I did: Piedmont gave you something it didn’t have to.

And it makes you wonder why more corporations don’t earn good will that way. (Piedmont did not fail because of its policy of giving away Coke, by the way. It did not fail at all. Both Piedmont and USAir were doing well when they merged.)

Remember the bakery shops that used to throw in an extra cookie for the kids even when all you got was a couple of loaves of bread?

Remember the gas stations that used to give away free maps?

Remember the salespeople who used to say, “I’ll check in back and see if I can find that for you” instead of, “Everything we got is on display!”

Small things. Small things people remember.

Still, USAir did not want to give away free whole cans. They offered little plastic cups and they didn’t see any reason to change after the merger.

The airline said adopting Piedmont’s policy would require keeping 30,000 cans on hand per day and the cans would add (a teensy bit) to the airliner’s weight and crowd the galley. And we all know the galleys have to be kept clear to make room for the meals that airlines no longer give us on short hops.

Besides, USAir said, if you wanted a whole can, all you had to do was ask for a whole can.

Oh, sure. What people are going to ask for a whole can and risk the possibility of abuse? It does not happen in the modern era.

You ask for a full can and you are likely to hear: “Don’t you realize that I am not a flying waitress? That I am here to pull you from the wreckage should we crash and burn?”

Which is what all airlines should realize today. Flying has become one of the worst forms of travel, even worse than driving.

It didn’t use to be this way. Flying used to be fun. A pleasurable adventure rather than a white-knuckle one.

Today, it’s awful. Planes are packed. Services are reduced. (How many times have you been told you can’t hang your garment bag in the front closet because that’s reserved for first class?) And we read these little stories. Stories about a crew having a risque conversation in the cockpit and forgetting to extend the wing flaps with the resulting crash of the plane.

I don’t know anybody who still enjoys flying. And the jokes I heard just a few years ago don’t seem so funny now: “Gee, airlines, today. You get to the ticket counter and they ask you: ‘Non-smoking. Smoking. Or burned to a crisp?’ ”

So airlines should realize we don’t like to fly on them. We fly on them because we have to. Because we can’t take the train to Paris. And because we believe in confronting our fears.

And this is why airlines should treat us nicely. Extra nicely. They should not only give us the minimum (tail sections that stay attached to the fuselage) but wretched excess (a whole can).

So I am delighted to report that after much soul-searching and argument, USAir decided to continue Piedmont’s policy. You can now fly on their planes and get a full can of Coke.

Now if they’d just switch to Pepsi.