A Masculine Coming Together

The poster for the 12th California Men’s Gathering, to be held Labor Day weekend in Malibu, asks the question, “Why gather?”

The poster also provides an answer of sorts, a rationale for holding a convocation of men.

“Taught to compete for jobs, success, love . . . it’s hard to know who to trust,” the poster declares. “Trained to kill, even on the tennis court . . . it’s hard to learn how to nourish. Surrounded by voices of expectation from employers, parents and partners . . . it’s hard to hear our own voices. Expected to perform, we die under stress . . . it’s getting harder and harder.”

From 200 to 300 California men have been meeting annually to have a good time in a pastoral setting, be with other men and question traditional male roles.

According to Roland Souza, a 42-year-old social worker and an event organizer, the theme of this year’s gathering, which will take place Sept. 1-4 at Camp Sholom Malibu, is “Men Understanding Men.” It will consist of workshops on relationships, fathers and sons, aging, and other topics. Participants will also meet in small groups and have a chance to play “non-competitive games,” Souza said.

Women Can Attend

Souza, who has attended many past gatherings, said the event is open to women as well as men, although only a handful of women usually attend. In the past, he said, about half the participants have been straight, the other half gay. The event attracts people of all professions, although therapists, counselors and others in the helping professions are always overrepresented, he said.

The crux of the gathering, Souza said, “is men really supporting each other, opening up and being vulnerable and just having fun. There’s a real spirit of positiveness that happens up there that I can never quite put into words. I always come back with a sense of optimism.”

Participants are asked not to bring alcohol or drugs.

Souza said the gathering is planned each year by a changing group of volunteers, many of whom identify themselves as part of the men’s movement. “It’s amazing that it’s been successful so long because no one’s in charge.”

The cost--from $75 to $195, including meals--varies according to income. Financial aid and day care is available. For more information, call 262-8019.