Uncouth Ways Can Betray the Aspiring Mogul : Business Majors Grab for Courses in Amy Vanderbilt Meets Donald Trump

Even in the dog-eat-dog corporate world, you can’t serve sloppy spaghetti at your dinner parties, business students at Stetson University are told.

At the University of Miami, aspiring moguls learn to put the butter plate on the left--and never forget to RSVP.

While U.S. business still runs on bare-knuckle competition, a few institutions are recognizing that students need to learn their manners before entering the fray.

It’s Amy Vanderbilt meets Donald Trump, as courses in the social graces and communication skills begin to appear at some business schools.

“We were totally unprepared for the response,” said Stetson University professor Stephen Barnett, who incorporated several etiquette lectures into his sales-management class at DeLand College last semester. “The students had so many questions and took such an interest in the topic, we’ve decided to expand.”

This fall, Barnett is planning a weekly evening course in etiquette that also would address such related subjects as proper attire and cross-cultural business relationships. He plans to stress social skills during the annual three-week overseas trip for his students at the private college near Orlando.

“The key to the whole thing is making the students prepared for all the different people and situations they’ll face when they leave school,” Barnett said. “Here, it’s comfortable and they get along well. But they may not be equipped to, say, entertain properly or set a table. Some of this stuff is so basic it’s scary in a way.”

Margaret Lee, wife of Stetson President H. Douglas Lee, has become the unofficial mentor in Barnett’s class by giving several lectures and drawing on her experience as a seasoned hostess.

For the course, she offered tips on “power entertaining” and being a gracious guest.

For example, she advised those holding a dinner party to plan scrupulously and avoid leaving the table once the meal is served. For guests, bringing a small gift or flowers is a nice touch, even at business-related dinner parties.

“The things that one does for a regular party shouldn’t change because it’s with business colleagues,” Lee said. “Manners are manners.”

Many college-age students stumble socially and are perplexed by protocol because of the way they were raised, said Karen Aronoff, who began lecturing on business etiquette last year at the University of Miami School of Business Administration.

“These are kids whose parents--for the most part--were part of the ‘60s counterculture. Their mottos were ‘do your own thing’ and ‘forget tradition,’ ” she said. “It’s not surprising their children are not familiar with the traditional social routines.”

Nelda Crowell, a spokeswoman at the American Graduate School of International Business in Glendale, Ariz., predicted that more campuses will begin etiquette courses in anticipation of European Economic Community trade reforms in 1992.

“We’re going to have to teach American business people how to work over there and not look like a fool,” she said.