JUNIOR HIGH-JINKS: Hits, the irreverent music biz...

JUNIOR HIGH-JINKS: Hits, the irreverent music biz weekly, chose an appropriate cover subject for its third anniversary issue: Mad magazine mascot Alfred E. Neuman. In an acknowledgment, the editors of Hits thank Mad publisher William Gaines not only for allowing the smart-alecky Neuman to grace their cover, “but for raising us on attitude.”

The magazine’s sassy approach has made it a colorful supplement to the drier, more serious Billboard. And the approach seems to be working. The anniversary issue is studded with congratulatory ads from record companies, most of them mimicking the sarcastic Hits tone.

Chrysalis Records’ ad reads: “You people are a bunch of disgusting, music reporting pigs with absolutely no respect for journalistic integrity, even less moral decency, plus you have you a collective sense of humor only a primate from a bad gene pool would admire.” The punch line?: “No wonder we can relate so well.”

Capitol Records’ ad was even more barbed. It depicted a dog, leg lifted, relieving itself on a copy of Hits. The notation: “Promotion with a Capitol ‘P.’ ”