Flames Get a Scouting Report: ‘And Don’t Drink the Water’

When the Calgary Flames take off today for a six-game swing through Czechoslovakia and the Soviet Union, they’ll be taking a lot of their own food and water.

Last year, when the Atlanta Hawks made a Soviet tour, Doc Rivers contracted a parasite from drinking the water.

Doug Riseborough, assistant general manager of the Flames, said: “The only problem source, we’ve been told, is Leningrad. Even Russians don’t drink the water in Leningrad.”

Burning question: How hot was it in San Marcos, Tex., when Houston Oiler Coach Jerry Glanville mercifully cut short practice the other day? The Houston Chronicle got these answers:

--Bruce Matthews: “I could feel my gut shrinking.”

--Allen Pinkett: “The grass started changing colors.”

--Steve Brown: “My relatives in California could feel it.”

--Greg Montgomery: “Even the devil would have put on skin lotion. A ball blew a seam when I punted it.”

Trivia time: What do Chili Davis, Patrick Ewing and Ben Johnson have in common?

Wait a minute: “Right on the numbers,” TV analyst Vince Dooley said of a completed pass in the North Carolina State-Maryland game.

A replay showed the receiver stretching as far as he could and catching it on his fingertips.

Would-you-believe-it-dept.: Chicago Cub Manager Don Zimmer said that when he was managing the Boston Red Sox, his best base-runner was Carlton Fisk.

“He was not the fastest,” Zimmer said, “but he was the best, day in and day out.”

Battle Royal: From the Sacramento Bee: “Remember the tale about Kansas City Royals’ “tranquility coach” John Mayberry, who got into a shoving match this season with Bill Buckner?

“The tranquility coach missed the team’s next flight because he was in jail. His wife, Janice, filed misdemeanor battery charges against her husband, who was released on a $1,000 recognizance bond.”

Cheer up: Auburn basketball Coach Sonny Smith, on Alabama Coach Wimp Sanderson and his dour countenance: “I read where it takes 15 muscles to smile and 65 muscles to frown, so I figure that Wimp is suffering from muscle fatigue.”

71 years ago today: On Sept. 5, 1918, Babe Ruth pitched a six-hitter as the Boston Red Sox defeated the Chicago Cubs, 1-0, in the opening game of the World Series. The Series was started early due to World War I.

He’s for it: From Cleveland Indian reliever Doug Jones, endorsing a drive to build a new ballpark to replace Cleveland Stadium: “Cleveland Stadium is not a baseball park. It’s a museum. A museum of unnatural history.”

Trivia answer: All three were born in Jamaica.

Quotebook: Sarunas Marciulionis, high-scoring Soviet guard who signed with the Golden State Warriors: “We Lithuanians are the best basketball players in the world, next to the black Americans.”