Advice to Women on Getting Fair Share From the Divorce Settlement

Both “You’re Entitled!” and “Getting Your Share” authors lay bare common mistakes women make, many of them rooted in emotional factors:

* Phone calls made angrily to a husband’s family, friends or co-workers may provide him with information that can be used against her later.

* Talking about finances with a husband during divorce proceedings, or agreeing to “think about” any offer he makes, increases a woman’s vulnerability, says Sidney DeAngelis. Men think they have driven a wedge between their wife and her lawyer, he says, and assume they can ignore genuine negotiation attempts.

* Listening to threats that he will bankrupt the business and leave her with nothing if she doesn’t sign a settlement offer can kill a woman’s chances of an equitable agreement forever.

* Dating him during litigation is dangerous, say Lois Brenner and Robert Stein, since it often leads to the weakening of the woman’s confidence and resolve.

* In both books, women are repeatedly cautioned to hold their emotional cards out of view and are reminded of the likely consequences if they don’t. The man they are divorcing is no longer a friend, the authors stress, and must be viewed as a business deal gone bad.

A business deal, they add, that has the potential of affecting their lives negatively for years to come.

Women who read the books shouldn’t be too quick to assume that, with the new tactical information they have been given, they are automatically going to get their financial due. DeAngelis said that he currently is at work on another book, this one directed toward men.

“It’s called, ‘You’re Entitled, Too.’ ”