This could be the worst insult yet...

This could be the worst insult yet aimed at Los Angeles.

“Alien Nation,” a new television series set in 1995, revolves around the lives of some extraterrestrials who land in the Mojave Desert and, naturally, move to Los Angeles.

Their hairless heads are shaped like overripe melons and adorned with red squiggles.

At the end of the show, a disclaimer says that “any similarity to persons living or dead” is “purely coincidental.”

Speaking of extraterrestrial communities, the Venice Chamber of Commerce unveiled a new logo Tuesday, replacing the old image of a gondolier plying the canal waters.

“We wanted something more representative of Venice today,” a chamber spokesman said.

Venice today? What a great straight line! How about a turbaned weightlifter juggling a chain saw and roller-skating down the boardwalk while his faithful snake slithers along at his side?

Alas, the new logo is more corporate than colorful--merely Venice spelled out in various type styles.

Of course, the name is underlined by a squiggle that’s suspiciously similar to the type found on the heads of the “Alien Nation” characters.

A recent mention of the inclusion of L.A.’s Bullwinkle-and-Rocky statue in the book, “Roadside America,” prompted a couple of letters that reveal the origin of the 30-year-old landmark.

Publicist Goldy Norton fondly recalls passing the Sunset Boulevard sculpture of the cartoon stars in the late 1950s on “my frequent walks to the dearly departed Plush Pup hot dog stand or Schwab’s Drugstore.”

The statue, Norton says, was inspired by “a Sahara Hotel billboard on the north side of Sunset, which was topped by a larger-than-life statue of a showgirl on a rotating base. When Jay Ward, the genius behind Bullwinkle, built his headquarters across the street, he decided a comparable statue . . . would be appropriate.”

And why is Bullwinkle holding Rocky in the palm of his hand?

Attorney John Hamilton Scott, whose father Bill Scott was the voice of Bullwinkle, says that the showgirl was “holding a cowboy hat in her outstretched arm. The Bullwinkle statue was a mordant comment.”

This sounds like a joke but isn’t. The theater chain Cineplex Odeon, which offers such delicacies as designer water and capuccino, now accepts American Express cards. And, why not? Tickets now go for $7 a pop. The chain so far has no plans to issue its own credit cards. You know--Cineplastic.

The family sport of the future? Forget about bowling, tennis and miniature golf.

Verne Langdon believes it’s only a matter of time before Dad and Junior are grappling in the ring. How about best two out of three falls to see who does the dishes?

Langdon is the creator of Slammers, a new Sun Valley attraction that bills itself as “L.A.’s only wrestling gym for the entire family.”

He claims wrestling “is great exercise,” especially if low-impact aerobics doesn’t inflict enough pain on your body.

The 17-foot-by-17-foot ring rents for $35 an hour, a rate that might offend the Andre the Accountant in your family. But Langdon points out you can have the whole family in there bouncing off the ropes at once--a Battle Royal!

Another contribution from the local car culture: PCH (Pacific Coast Highway), a line of swimwear named after a roadway.

Attention Beverly Hills Visitors Bureau: Your letter, which arrived here even though it was addressed to “Mr. Steve Garvey, Only in L.A.,” has been forwarded to the San Diego ballplayer-turned-radio host.

You’re welcome.