Helping Kids Handle ‘Day-Care Dilemma’

Your article “Day Care Dilemma” (by Beverly Beyette, Nov. 1) was well researched and written but failed to appreciate the effect upon children of ever-changing care-givers. These are the nannies, housekeepers, baby-sitters and child care center workers who often do establish an excellent relationship with the child.

However, for various reasons, these care-givers come and go.

When they leave, children (particularly infants and toddlers) suffer a serious sense of loss and may frequently feel abandoned. The child may worry that the parents will also disappear.

Evening and weekend “quality time” with working parents cannot compensate for the distress caused by these unpredictable separations. When these separations from changing care-givers occur repeatedly, the infant and toddler can become emotionally scarred. These children may find it difficult to ever learn to trust any adult.

There is a simple, although unpopular, remedy: Parents should raise their own children--particularly in the infant and preschool years. They will provide the continual and consistent attachment figure that is so important.

Yes, I know this proposal sounds economically impractical in this era of consumerism and high mortgage payments.

But it is during these formative years that the child’s secure emotional base is established. To the child, such security in the early years is far more important than building equity in a multibedroom home.

Our federal government should allow parents liberal tax credits or economic assistance to stay home and care for their own children.

I certainly agree with your article that the quality of child care should be improved. But the best child care usually is that provided by the parent who stays home, creating a continual and a secure base.

ISABELLE FOX, Western Psychological Center