Commentary : Many Eager to Adopt ‘Timmy,’ but Other Children Are Less Lucky

The call came in from the Child Abuse Central Registry. An infant had been found near a trash bin in an alley and taken to a local hospital. We at Orange County Children’s Services had been there before and were ready for the avalanche of calls offering assistance.

As the calls came in over the next several days, they reinforced our belief that the citizens of Orange County truly care about the less fortunate and are willing to respond to their needs.

We also knew that there would be many disappointed people when they learned that others had established claims for this infant, and others like him, several years before his birth.

This sudden outpouring of concern also magnified for all of us the tragedy of those children who continue to wait for the long-term love and security of an adoptive family: those children who were unlucky enough to be born with serious physical problems. Those children who were not adopted soon after they were born, making them older candidates for adoption and, as a result, less attractive to many adoptive parents. Those children who have been so abused that they have emotional problems and are passed over for adoption time after time.

It is ironic that little Timmy, as he was later named, would have the misfortune of being abandoned in such a callous manner in an alley, and yet in many ways have the tremendous advantage of being a healthy infant with many people anxiously awaiting his availability for adoption.

The truth is that the Timmies of the world stand a much better chance of going on to live in traditional families than hundreds of other, hard-to-place adoptive children.

What will Timmy’s odyssey entail? To begin with, Timmy’s parents, however unthinking or misguided they may have been in their abandonment of him to the elements, will still be guaranteed by state law the right to attempt to pull their lives together and provide him with a home.

If they come forward and want to pursue this option, our agency will do everything in its power to provide the support necessary for them to be successful in this effort. They will have anywhere from six months to 1 1/2 years to prove their abilities.

If they are not interested in parenting Timmy or are unable to do so, then we will take the necessary steps to free him for adoption by one of the families that have been waiting for as long as five years for a child like this.

People who are concerned about Timmy will wonder what happens to him while his parents attempt to get their lives together. Our agency offers a specialized program called the Early Placement of Children (EPOCH). This program will allow Timmy to be placed in a foster home with a set of parents who might eventually become his adoptive parents.

These people are special parents who are willing to risk emotional trauma by offering to provide a home for children like Timmy, at least on a temporary basis and on a permanent basis if possible. They must also be willing to freely and unquestionably work toward the child’s return to his natural parents as the first priority. If the return to the parents doesn’t work out, then they would become the first choice to be the child’s adoptive parents.

What about those other children, those 91 hard-to-place children who are waiting their turn for the few interested families? How long will these children wait? Many of them grow up in the system because there is no one who is willing to take a chance. The demand for homes far outstrips the supply available.

Where do these children wait? Some of them wait in foster homes; others wait in institutions geared to meet their very special needs. While both of these options provide good care for the children, they are not a permanent family like most other children experience. These children are still different. They are still labeled by their continued involvement with the Juvenile Court and our social services agency.

These children desperately need good adoptive homes.

Yes, the Timmies of the world who come to our attention (there have been four newborn babies abandoned in Orange County this year, three in the past two months) certainly deserve the outpouring of concern and support that they experience. It is truly a tragedy that they should be exposed to such a cruel start in life.

But there are more Timmies the public does not often see--and for whom the options are not nearly as attractive. I would hope that as we think about Timmy and what will happen to him, we will also spend some time thinking about the hundreds of other children who also need our continued care and concern and support.