So what do you do with a...

So what do you do with a defunct tire factory modeled after an ancient Assyrian palace?

For two decades, the kings, holy men and jinni carved into the front wall of the former Uniroyal plant that stand watch over the Santa Ana Freeway have waited, patiently, for an answer. Shut down in 1978, the building sat virtually idle, except when it was rented out for auctions or was used as a movie set.

On Thursday morning, the bulldozers and earth-movers arrived.

But this wasn’t the carrying out of the usual capital sentence for a building in Southern California--death by wrecking ball.

Rather, Trammel Crow Co. was demolishing the interior--which resembles nothing more than a 20th-Century tire factory--as the first step in transforming the 61-year-old City of Commerce landmark into a complex of office buildings, restaurants and a hotel.

A spokesman said that part of the front wall would be removed but added that most of the exterior, with its bas relief panels, tower buttresses and stepped architecture, would be largely untouched.

On hand was Gretchen Davis, whose father, Adolf Schleicher, built the tribute to Sargon II, a 7th-Century B.C. king. Davis wielded the same silver shovel and pick that she used at the groundbreaking in 1929.

The demolition work prompted several freeway commuters to phone local radio stations Thursday to express alarm over the landmark’s apparently precarious status.

Of course, many complained for another reason. The construction prompted drivers to slow down, causing a traffic jam.

The planned conversion of the ersatz Assyrian palace into an office-restaurant-hotel complex after years of inactivity points up the problem of finding new roles for the uniquely shaped buildings that popped up in Southern California before World War II.

The sloping Mt. Baldy Inn in Pico Rivera was later divided into a bar and an upholstery shop before it was leveled. The camera-shaped Darkroom on Wilshire Boulevard became an Indian restaurant.

Many of the circular Chili Bowl cafes were destroyed, but some were reborn as various businesses--including a body shop, a bar and a Chinese eatery. One survivor in West L.A. is a Mexican restaurant.

Another happy ending concerned the giant green pickle that stood guard over a restaurant named Pickle Bill’s in West L.A.

When Bill’s folded, nearby Kelbo’s Barbecue acquired the pickle, repainted it, and planted it at the entrance as a Tiki war god.

Asked Thursday what actions he’d like to take as the new honorary mayor of Universal City, actor Ernest Borgnine reverted to his Academy Award-winning role as the passive bachelor in “Marty.”

“I dunno,” he said. “What do you want me to do?”

Long Beachites who claim that Ski Demski’s flags are too loud will be relieved to hear that their resident super-patriot is leaving town for the week to take his 47-foot-by-82-foot Old Glory to New Orleans, where it will be unfurled for the pregame National Anthem at the Super Bowl.

Demski, you may recall, was charged by city authorities with violating a local noise ordinance. But a judge later threw out the case.

The city’s foremost jet-setter, Ski was also supposed to unfurl his nationally famous flag before Game Three of the last World Series in Candlestick Park. But the Oct. 17 ceremony was preempted by a phenomenon even louder than Demski’s Stars and Stripes--a 7.1-magnitude earthquake.

Gun control is a perennial political issue, but a typographical error in a Whittier newspaper makes it appear that one candidate is worried about another type of weapon.

“No ax increases!” says the blurb for Bradley McFaddin, a state Senate hopeful.

It calls to mind the immortal words of President Bush: “Read my lips. No more axes!”