If a Guy Parks in Front of a Hydrant, What Else Will He Do? : Ethics: In Washington the joke is on the ‘Keating Five,’ and it’s hard to get away from the backwash of the S&L; scandal.

The other night, I stood witness to a vivid political outrage.

It wasn’t so earthshaking as the “Keating Five” S&L; scandal, which cost the country billions. It was more street-level, easier to grasp.

John McCain is a senator from Arizona. Last Wednesday night he was invited, like hundreds of his fellow lawmakers, to attend the Washington Press Club dinner--that once-a-year fun-fest when a small, nervous group of congressmen tell jokes at the expense of their colleagues and media hosts alike.

What caught my attention Wednesday night was not something McCain said or did at the dinner, but what he did outside.

Arriving at the Grand Hyatt, the Arizona senator spotted a magically convenient parking space. There it was, right on the corner, a few quick steps from the hotel entrance. Within seconds, he had his key out of the ignition and was scooting toward the main door.

Lucky, right?

You might say that. McCain parked his car directly in front of a fire hydrant. He opened his door and there was the hydrant, obvious enough for a blind Irish setter to find it.

Even hardened illegal parkers usually pass up hydrants. It isn’t just a matter of getting a ticket or breaking a law. It’s a matter of basic public safety. Had there been a fire at the hotel during the next few hours, that hydrant on the corner could have been useless.

To John McCain, U.S. senator, that hydrant served a more personal purpose than putting out fires. It kept a space free for John McCain, one right near where he wanted to go. Where others saw a fire hydrant, the man from Arizona saw a “Senators Only” sign.

When I called him on it the next morning, he wanted to know what all the fuss was about. “I was in a big hurry,” he said. “If I’d gotten a ticket, I’d have paid it.”

McCain then directed the blame where he felt it really belonged, at “all those limousines” parked in front of the hotel. “I’ll bet half of them were journalists,” he said.

Unfortunately for McCain, a Republican, parking violations are the least of his problems these days. Like four of his Democratic colleagues, Alan Cranston of California, fellow Arizonan Dennis DeConcini, John Glenn of Ohio and Rep. Don Riegle of Michigan, McCain is himself a charter member of the notorious “Keating Five,” recently caught using their positions to pressure federal regulators on behalf of their “friend” Charles Keating, owner of Lincoln Savings and Loan. Keating had become their “friend,” giving $112,000 to McCain, almost a million to groups allied with Cranston. Keating’s S&L; went bottom up, costing depositors in excess of $2 billion.

If McCain is testy toward journalists, it’s understandable. The “Keating Five” were the No. 1 butt of jokes at the Washington Press Club dinner. What added insult to injury was that most of the gibes came from their own political colleagues.

Rep. Barbara Boxer, a California Democrat who may challenge Cranston for his Senate seat in 1992, said that “S ‘n’ L” now stands for “Senators who Need Lawyers.” With her colleague Cranston sitting just a few seats away, Boxer rubbed it in, saying that the people of her San Francisco Bay Area district were disappointed when President Bush sent his vice president to view the October earthquake damage. “A lot of people thought that sending Dan Quayle to a disaster was a little like sending Charles Keating to a bank failure.”

Rep. Connie Morella, a Republican from Maryland, kept it up. She joked that Manuel Noriega was not completely indefensible. “I mean, here’s a politician who managed to steal billions from his country and he didn’t even own a savings and loan.”

McCain is working hard to dissociate himself from the name “Keating.” Last year, when the scandal broke, he reimbursed the S&L; tycoon $13,000 for vacation flights his family had taken to Keating’s home in the Bahamas.

Sadly for McCain, voters aren’t that impressed with a guy giving back the money only after he gets caught. It’s like agreeing to pay a parking violation after you’ve found a ticket in the windshield.

Besides, when the senators’ “friend” Keating went bust, a lot of everyday depositors had their lifetime savings destroyed.