NHL’s Jets Won’t Land in Anaheim

Anaheim Jets? Orange County Jets? California Jets?

Don’t bet on it.

Barry Shenkarow, president of the National Hockey League’s Winnipeg Jets, revealed Tuesday that a group of investors from Anaheim have offered to buy his team. In Winnipeg, this is no revelation. Somebody always wants to buy Shenkarow’s team, figuring it’s their civil duty to save the Jets from Winnipeg.

One day, it’s San Jose. The next, Milwaukee.

And now, Anaheim to the rescue?

Do we really need the Jets?

Didn’t we learn anything from Dieter Brock, the Winnipeg-rued Bomber?

Some quick facts about the Jets:

They’ve been around since 1972, once had Bobby Hull and now have Dale Hawerchuk. Until recently, Hawerchuk was considered the third-greatest player in pro hockey, a notch below Wayne Gretzky and Mario Lemieux. He was an NHL rookie of the year in 1982, he has averaged more than 100 points for eight seasons and he captained Team Canada in last spring’s world championships.

Never heard of him?

Hey, it’s Winnipeg.

Or Lose-i-peg, as hockey writers have been calling the place for years. Original members of the World Hockey Assn., the Jets have belonged to the NHL since 1979 and have reached the second round of the Stanley Cup playoffs twice. Both times, they met Edmonton. Both times, they were swept, four straight.

The Jets used to have a goalie named Pokey. Now they have an assistant coach called Alpo. They also had a bonus baby named Kirk McCaskill, but once McCaskill took a good look around, he immediately decided to pursue a career in baseball.

Many people assume the Jets are dying to move, because living in Winnipeg has to be death. Hell frozen over. Locals brag that the downtown corner of Portage and Main is the coldest spot in North America, a claim no outsider refutes. We’ll take their word for it.

When Jet fans park their cars before a home game, they plug their batteries into heaters. Between periods, they are permitted in and out of the arena so they can turn the engine over a couple of times.

Almost everyone hates to play there. The Cleveland of the NHL, players call it, the Land of Room Service. If the proposed move of the Minnesota North Stars to Oakland goes through, the North Stars and the Jets would switch divisions, meaning Chicago would have to play Winnipeg eight times a season, home and away. “If we have to go to Winnipeg four games a year,” one Blackhawk said, “maybe we can double up and play two games in one day--one in the morning and one at night.”

The Kings, who already play the Jets eight times a year, do the next best thing. They make two trips each season to Winnipeg and stay for three days, playing games on Friday and Sunday.

On Saturday, former Kings Coach Robbie Ftorek used to schedule team bowling tournaments.

Because Anaheim Arena is coming, we are told, Anaheim is going to need a team to occupy it. If the Clippers won’t budge, there’s always the NHL to raid. So why not raid Winnipeg? Haven’t the Jets already suffered enough?

The only snow in Anaheim is on the Matterhorn and it’s fake.

Shenkarow has heard the pitch many times. His swing at it is always the same: “We’re not moving and we’re not selling the team. Let’s drop it.”

Shenkarow, though, might get a new arena out of it, which, no doubt, is the reason he dropped Anaheim’s name in the first place. In Winnipeg, there are two diversions--the Jets and the Blue Bombers--and the community isn’t about to let either go.

Shenkarow knows this. Winnipeg, by necessity, is an insular place. The community huddles together because it’s warmer that way.

When former USC quarterback Sean Salisbury played for the Blue Bombers and ripped the city in the papers, the Bombers, reacting to fan response, released him. When another newspaper story reported this season that goalie Daniel Berthiaume swore at a young autograph-seeker, the outcry was such that the Jets traded Berthiaume in an attempt to save face and keep the turnstiles clicking.

Winnipeg takes its Jets seriously. So Shenkarow will probably get his luxury seats and his private boxes and his state-of-the-art facility, which he has requested in time for the 1993-94 season.

Anaheim might be better off throwing its millions into the North Star derby, because the North Stars are looking to move, specifically to the West Coast. But the North Stars are looking now and Anaheim hasn’t yet broken ground for its arena.

Then, there’s the Bruce McNall factor. As owner of the Kings, McNall is intent on protecting his investment from any encroachment from the south. Before Gretzky, Southern California couldn’t support one hockey team and despite the contract extensions McNall keeps throwing at him, Gretzky isn’t going to play forever.

For the time being, hockey in Orange County remains a pipe dream. It isn’t going to happen for a while.

But that’s good. If and when it comes, we’ll be prepared.

We still have time to figure out what icing the puck means.