Fight for Restroom Space Becomes Theater of the Absurd

I’ve been getting mail from the La Jolla Playhouse.

I got an announcement that the first production of 1990 will be “The Cherry Orchard” starring Lynn Redgrave. It begins May 13.

I got the theater’s latest Stabilization Campaign Update. It says the financial wolf has been temporarily chased from the door.

But nothing I’ve received addresses a more urgent issue: Does the playhouse plan to continue its hideous practice of sometimes blocking the men’s room so it can be used by women?

I encountered this barbarity in November during an otherwise superb production of “Macbeth.” It was a fine evening of political intrigue and homicidal power-grabbing.

I saw a member of the San Diego City Council in the audience, taking notes. (Name available upon request).

As the Queen of Evil finished her speech, and the lights came up for intermission, I rushed to the lobby. An usher halted me at the door to the men’s room.

“Sorry,” he said, “we let the women use the men’s room first to accommodate the ‘overflow’ from the women’s room.”

I grimaced. I hopped from foot to foot. I suffered until the men’s room was returned to its rightful users.

After I got the news about the new season, I decided to call the La Jolla Playhouse.

I was informed that more women than men attend the theater. Plus, women are slower at some tasks than men.

I learned that I was not the first male to complain. But until a financial angel provides roomier restrooms, letting women use the men’s room is seen as the only way to eliminate queuing.

I discovered, however, that the usher who barred me had violated policy. Policy says women can use the men’s restroom only after the crush of early-arriving men has cleared out.

Ushers will be instructed anew of this before “The Cherry Orchard” begins.

See, and you thought the press never does anything worthwhile.

That Sinking Feeling

Media moves.

- Bad news for two Assembly members from San Diego County.

In a poll by the California Journal, Peter Chacon (D-San Diego) placed 78th out of 79 members in overall integrity, intelligence, energy and effectiveness. Sunny Mojonnier (R-Encinitas) was 71st.

The Sacramento-based magazine surveyed 220 legislators, lobbyists, staffers and reporters.

Critics dismiss the poll as unscientific. But the results are already being used as a weapon by campaign opponents.

- Jim and Heidi O’Hern have opened a family business in their Fallbrook home: Arm A Dec International.

For $35 an hour, they’ll check news stories about firearms and munitions before publication for accuracy. They’re plugged in by fax and phone.

The O’Herns say too many stories about hot topics like assault rifles are loaded with errors.

Jim is a Marine staff sergeant at Camp Pendleton. Heidi, a former Marine sharpshooter, is an explosives handler at the Fallbrook Naval Weapons Station.

- From an account in the (Escondido) Times-Advocate of gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson’s recent visit to the Belly Up Tavern:

“Thompson brushed some residual vomit off his camouflage trousers and ordered a Heineken at the airport bar . . . During the 20-minute drive to Solana Beach, Thompson . . . poured some Heineken into his cupped hand and inhaled it vigorously through his nose.

“ ‘Asthma,’ he said.”

Glossing Over a ‘Defeat’

Short takes.

- Defense attorney having his shoes shined at Horton Plaza: “The D.A. won the trial, but I won the sentencing.”

- The Fieldstone Co. says it’s reviewing its “VIP presale policy,” which gives preference to certain city and county officials in buying new homes.

The review panel will consist of a clergyman, an academic and a judge. As yet unselected.

- More bureaucratese: Calendar as a verb. As in, “Let’s calendar that.”

Turn back the calendar, I say.