Bush’s Broccoli Hatred Flowers Into Presidential Proclamation

George Bush, still harboring a childhood grudge against broccoli, escalated the rhetoric today in his one-man war against the vegetable.

“I do not like broccoli and I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it and I’m President of the United States and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli,” Bush proclaimed to cheers and laughter at the close of an outdoor news conference.

Bush’s forthright stand has brought howls from broccoli growers, who are shipping 10 tons of the green, flowery vegetable from California to the nation’s capital to feed the hungry.

“Now, look. This is the last statement I’m going to have on broccoli,” Bush said. “There are truckloads of broccoli at this very minute descending on Washington. My family is divided.”

But the President admitted that at least one member of the Bush family likes broccoli.

“For the broccoli vote out there: Barbara loves broccoli. She has tried to make me eat it. She eats it all the time herself,” Bush said. “So she can go out and meet the caravan of broccoli that’s coming in.”