TRIPS MATCHMAKER RANCH : Fantasy Trail : Hayrides, ‘Bushwhackings’ and ‘Gunfights’ Add to the Wild West Atmosphere at Ranch

Pretend you’re part of a group en route to a birthday party that will take place at a ranch.

As you pull into the ranch driveway, your group gets bushwhacked by half a dozen cowboys who come charging down the road on horseback, yelling and shooting their guns in the air. They take you to a neighboring ranch, put you on a hayride and force-feed you homemade chili and corn bread.

Not a bad fantasy.

And one that the Matchmaker Ranch in Santa Paula is doing its best to make come true.

Kidnap victims are taken to adjacent Cummings Ranch as soon as they arrive at the Matchmaker. They’re put in a yellow wagon ankle deep in hay, with three or four bales artfully arranged.

Escorts are “cowboys” in full regalia--hats, bandannas, chaps--who lead double lives as baseball coaches, counselors, off-shore welders and construction foremen. Being a cowboy is something he does in his spare time, said Elwood White, a would-be desperado from Santa Paula.

A singer tags along and provides entertainment by warbling songs such as “Mammas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys” and “Cowboys Ain’t Supposed to Cry.” He has a small index card taped to his guitar that he uses as a cheat sheet. “I get mixed up sometimes,” he said.

The wagon is pulled by a pair of Belgium horses and the driver is a grizzled-looking character nicknamed “Runaway.” The cowboy making introductions drawls, “Ah don’t wanna scare anyone, but the driver’s name is Runaway. . . . None of them highway rules apply heah.” The wagon goes at a brisk enough pace to cause a thin breeze, about 7 m.p.h.

The trail leads through part of the 500-acre Cummings Ranch and visitors view large fields of green oat hay. The entire trip, which lasts a little over an hour, consists of going up a trail to a loop and returning to the ranch entrance.

“It was worthwhile just to see the valley,” said hijackee Ed Mattie, 64, of Santa Clarita.

After the hayride, visitors are returned to Matchmaker Ranch and fed. Depending on whether the occasion is a birthday party, wedding or office picnic, the food may be catered or prepared at the ranch, said owner Leslie Slade. Tossed green salad, chili and corn bread with honey are examples of Slade’s culinary skills.

During dinner a gunfight is staged, using blanks, of course. “We usually improvise. . . . We rehearse maybe five minutes beforehand,” said Kurt Kenyon of Santa Paula, a correction officer at the Santa Paula Jail when he isn’t being a cowboy. On this particular night, Kenyon shot and “killed” a man for stealing his horse.

To contribute to the atmosphere of the Old West, the barn at Matchmaker Ranch has a dilapidated piano against one wall, chopped wood in another corner and cattle skulls hanging from the walls. A red tablecloth, poker table and a newspaper advertising the California gold rush are also relics of a bygone era.

Slade said she has done four hayrides and 15 parties so far and each one is slightly different, depending on the group’s tastes. There’s a minimum of 25 people and a maximum of 300, and prices are about $55 per person. Call (805) 525-2250.