Brochures Tell More Than They Perhaps Intend

What’s that cruise ship you’re thinking about sailing aboard really like?

It isn’t difficult to figure out if you know how to read the brochure. That’s where a cruise line tells you the truth about itself, whether it means to or not.

First, flip quickly through the brochure to get an overview. What did you notice most?

If it was a Carnival Cruise Lines brochure you saw young people in bathing suits dancing, exercising, laughing and drinking pink drinks; casinos with and without people, Las Vegas-type showgirls in pink feathers and a huge midnight buffet with toque-topped chefs from central casting.

In Society Expeditions’ current brochure you see photos of passengers hobnobbing with penguins and primitive tribesmen with spears and feathers, but very little about food, drink and gambling. The line knows its passengers care more about a close encounter with flora and fauna than a rendezvous with surf-and-turf.

Costa Cruises, on the other hand, displays an inordinate amount of food and drink in its 1990 Caribbean brochure, interspersed with an occasional photograph of someone exercising or relaxing in the sauna.

Royal Viking Line features handsome, successful-looking, mature individuals doing whatever it is that handsome, successful-looking, mature individuals do. Princess, meanwhile, splits its focus between fitness, food and entertainment.

All brochures from all cruise lines are designed so as to appeal to a specialized audience. Thus the choice of photographs can tell a lot about the type of cruise.

Next, study the handsome, well-groomed models that beam at each other happily in picture after picture. They represent the way in which that cruise line visualizes its ideal passengers. Then see if you can find in the background any slightly out-of-focus passengers who actually bought passage aboard that ship. A few companies, notably Royal Cruise Line and Carnival Cruise Lines, do not separate the real passengers from the models, which is one version of honesty in advertising.

One of the most successful of all cruise photographs is in the Sea Goddess brochures. A waiter in a white jacket and swimming trunks is serving glasses of champagne from a silver tray to two laughing couples in the surf off Virgin Gorda. Everyone who sees it knows immediately whether the Sea Goddess experience is for them.

When you’ve finished with the photos, take a look at the itinerary. Where two cities are listed, one in parentheses, such as Civitavecchia (for Rome) or Livorno (for Florence), that’s a clue that you may have a long bus ride from the port city to the destination.

Check your calendar to see which day of the week you are in port if there’s a shopping opportunity; you don’t want to arrive in St. Thomas on Sunday when most places are closed.

An asterisk or the words “cruise by” lets you know that the ship does not call in that port, but if you have your binoculars along you can get a glimpse of it as you pass.

If the text extols an island where you get a breathtaking view from atop a dormant volcano in the island’s center and your itinerary shows that you dock at 9 a.m. and sail at noon, there’s no way you’ll be able to see that view. If your Greek Islands cruise arrives at Hydra at 9 p.m. and departs at 10:30 p.m., you won’t get many slides to show the folks back home.

A deck plan can tell you as much about the ship as a good travel agent, once you learn to decipher it. Look for the extras the cruise line doesn’t promote, such as self-service laundry, library, card room, sauna.

Colors on the cabin diagrams correspond with price categories in the brochure, so you can tell easily how much a certain cabin will cost. Find those cabins you do not want--those immediately above or below a disco, casino or theater if you’re a light sleeper, those adjacent to elevators or lounge areas, those that are squeezed into narrower areas toward the ship’s bow.

Dining room diagrams can tip you off as to how close together the tables are and whether there are any tables for two.

Cabin size, too, can be determined more easily from floor plans than photographs, In the latter, the photographer is usually standing in the hallway or crouched in the shower, shooting with a wide-angle lens to make the modest stateroom look as big as possible.

Finally, spend some time carefully reading the fine print in the back of the brochure before signing up for your dream vacation. Amount of deposit, method of payment and cancellation regulations are spelled out, as well as the company’s policy on refunds, the “will not be responsible for” disclaimers, and details on special diet requests, facilities for the disabled, minimum age of children permitted on board, and whether or not the air fare to catch the ship is included.

Most cabin prices are based on a “per person/double occupancy” rate, which means that persons traveling alone who want a private cabin may have to pay a surcharge. Some ships offer “guaranteed roommate” plans, meaning they will match you with another person of the same sex. Failing that, they will allow you to occupy the cabin alone at the per person/double occupancy rate. Third and fourth passengers in a cabin occupying pull-down upper berths usually travel at a lower fixed rate or sometimes, in the case of children, free.

Finally, beware of brochures bearing sketches instead of photographs. Unless the ship is still under construction or undergoing major remodeling when the brochure was issued, you’re right to suspect that the line is trying to hide something from you.