‘No, Officer, I Really Wanted to <i> Be</i> on Ticket, Not Get One’

Britain’s Sebastian Coe, two-time Olympic 1,500-meter champion who hopes to become a Conservative member of parliament in the next election, has not exactly been conservative on the highways.

Coe was cited in London for going 156 kilometers per hour on a motorway and was fined 84 pounds.

That’s 97 m.p.h. and $142.

What a tiger: Said Detroit’s Cecil Fielder after batting .521 with four doubles and three home runs on the road against Texas and Chicago: “It was my best trip since Kyoto and Tokyo.”

Last year, Fielder played in Japan for the Hanshin Tigers.

What a life: From senior golfer George Archer, waxing philosophical: “I’m already doing what most people spend their life trying to do--play golf every day. Look at it this way. Should I retire from golf and go into some kind of business?”

Trivia time: What do Dave Winfield of the Angels, Magic Johnson of the Lakers and Marcus Allen of the Raiders have in common?

Sky’s the limit: Milwaukee’s Dave Parker, once considered baseball’s best player, speculates on Jose Canseco’s next contract at Oakland: “For him, $6 million wouldn’t be beyond the realm of possibility. He’s proved it’s not a fluke. All he’s done is impress the world. He’s got the total package. He’s something special. He’s a devastating player.”

Add sluggers: San Francisco Manager Roger Craig, on outfielder Kevin Mitchell: “He’s strong. He’s awesome. Every time he swings the bat, he has a chance to hit the ball 500 feet.”

Now-it-can-be-told Dept.: From ESPN’s Joe Theismann: “When I went to Notre Dame, books were a distant third to athletics and girls. But because I wanted to graduate, I only went out on two dates my first two years.

“Of course, I made up for it my last two years.”

A steal: Jan Hubbard of Newsday lists some of the players who were taken ahead of Detroit’s Dennis Rodman in the 1986 draft: Len Bias, Chris Washburn, William Bedford, Brad Sellers, Maurice Martin, Mark Alarie, Ken Barlow, Scott Skiles, Pearl Washington, Walter Berry, Arvydas Sabonis.

Amen: John Johnson, manager of Buster Douglas, who has yet to cash in big on his heavyweight title, told the New York Times: “The Mike Tyson fight was a war. You have that kind of war, you don’t go to war a couple of months later. Plus, we had other commitments. We’ve flown 50,000 miles since James beat Tyson, and 90% of that was to help others. Crippled kids. Babies born drug-addicted. Homeless people.

“I’m sorry that some folks in boxing don’t agree with that. But that’s their problem. The love of money is the root of all evil. We have to have our inner peace.”

Trivia answer: All three wear No. 32.

Quotebook: Mike Tyson, on growing up in the same Brooklyn neighborhood as Lyle Alzado: “I couldn’t understand how a white guy could be from my neighborhood, but then I met him and I can see why.”