Maybe Movie Stars Are Just Too Gorgeous for Our Own Good

Within a span of several days, I saw the 1955 movie “Marty” on a PBS broadcast and “Pretty Women” in a theater.

I left “Pretty Woman” with mixed emotions. I watched this stunning woman fall in love with a rich, gorgeous hunk. Even though she was a prostitute with no manners, class or education, she “cleaned up real good” and managed to capture millionaire Richard Gere by way of her long legs and practiced love-making.

The more I thought about this movie, the more uncomfortable I became. It did have a romantic ending: He rode the limousine back to the slums to rescue her from her sleazy life of sin. But how did this movie relate to me?

I don’t know anyone as gorgeous as Roberts--luscious lips, thick mane of hair, full bust line. And Gere? He’s no slouch either--firm body, wonderful tan and just a hint of gray hair. (Where did he get that tan if he was so busy raiding corporations?)

But are these people real? I thought movies today were supposed to be more realistic.

And then I watched “Marty.” Ernest Borgnine is not Gere and Betsy Blair is not Roberts.

How can two “dogs” find love and happiness when they are so ugly and their lives are so boring?

He was a butcher. When did you last meet a single woman who wanted to date a butcher? And she was a science teacher. Do you know how intimidated most men are by female science teachers? (I know, because I’m a female science teacher.)

The men I meet today are looking for Julia Roberts. These same men complain the women they meet are seeking a multimillionaire who looks like Gere.

There’s a clue here, folks. We’ve been seeing the wrong movie. Next week, see “Marty.”

CLAIRE SCHNEIDER

Ramona