A Game of Trivial Pursuit for TV Series

TV or not TV. . . .

BORN TO LOSE: As the saying goes in Hollywood, the only thing as important as succeeding is that your friends fail.

Thus, as this TV season fades into oblivion, a few final words about the losers--canceled series headed for trivia books and “Jeopardy!” questions:

* “Hardball.” Neanderthal television.

* “Island Son.” The worst blow to medicine since malpractice suits. Even Richard Chamberlain couldn’t operate.

* “Sunset Beat.” A poignant reminder of the unforgettable TV era of “Hawaiian Eye” and “77 Sunset Strip.”

* “Capital News.” One of the funniest newspaper dramas ever (unintentionally).

* “A Family for Joe.” Robert Mitchum had a few laughs and picked up a check.

* “The Bradys.” Goodby. But there’s great potential here for a horror film.

* “The Famous Teddy Z.” Hollywood loved the talent agency byplay. People “out there” sensibly couldn’t care less. America is A-OK.

* “Elvis.” Lovely, but too gentle for the supermarket tabloid generation.

* “The Marshall Chronicles.” A fine time with a teen-age New York boy. Come again.

* “The People Next Door.” Yes, it was really on. The plot will stump “Jeopardy!” contestants for decades.

IN THE WINGS: NBC has a killer pilot for its new fall sitcom “Fresh Prince of Bel Air,” which stars pop rapper the Fresh Prince as a Philadelphia youth who moves in with rich relatives here. Whether other episodes hold up is one thing--but the rapper (real name: Wil Smith) is an extraordinarily likeable and gifted natural actor who would seem to have a major movie career ahead.

BLOWOUT: With “Newhart” finishing No. 1 in the ratings in its finale, that should just about assure that his deal to return to CBS with a new series in 1991 won’t run into any snags. The guy’s like an annuity for a network.

UP THE DOWN STAIRCASE: Wouldn’t it be ironic if Jane Pauley’s enormous popularity since being forced off “Today” resulted in her becoming a regular, and perhaps co-anchor, on the “NBC Nightly News” with Tom Brokaw? Those are some of the rumors. NBC’s nightly news continues to trail in the ratings, and “Today”--since Pauley left--now has lost to ABC’s “Good Morning America” for 21 consecutive weeks.

“PARADISE” FOUND: The CBS Western “Paradise” didn’t make it back on the fall schedule, but producer David Jacobs says there are negotiations with the network for a possible return as a replacement series. Surprising how many calls we got asking about the show’s future.

ON THE CASE: ABC’s “Saturday Mystery Movie” was also yanked for fall, but Peter Falk’s representatives say that his “Columbo” revival--the most popular part of the series--has been set for at least three more special outings next season.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: With many TV and film executives flitting from job to job with no sense of loyalty, a line has been going around to describe the situation: “Temporary help making permanent decisions.” Ouch.

BULLETIN BOARD: Don’t forget--the final episode of “It’s Garry Shandling’s Show” airs on Showtime Friday at 10:30 p.m. It’s called “Driving Miss Garry,” and Dan Aykroyd reprises his role in the Oscar-winning “Driving Miss Daisy,” with Paul Winfield as the chauffeur.

RARE FORM: Johnny Carson is on a tear since re-upping for another year of “Tonight.” His murderous sketch about local TV news Friday was an absolute sensation. Also last week, in noting next season’s matchup of “The Simpsons” against “The Cosby Show,” he cracked: “Does it bother you that of the two families, the more realistic is the one in the cartoon?”

EXPERT OPINION: Speaking of matchups, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Keith Olbermann should make for provocative listening tonight when they team for the postgame show of the NBA finals on KCBS Channel 2.

CLOSE TO HOME: “Tonight” sub Jay Leno donated all the royalties from his book, “Headlines,” to health organizations treating children with AIDS. His manager’s 3-year-old son died of AIDS contracted through a blood transfusion.

BEGINNINGS: Ted Turner, marking CNN’s 10th anniversary, recalls how ABC’s short-lived Satellite News Channel tried to KO his creation in 1982 by introducing a round-the-clock, short-form news service. Turner immediately started CNN II--”Headline News”--and says: “We beat them on the air by four months and completely wrecked their plans.”

IRRESISTIBLE: It’s one of the truly great bad movies--”The Sun Also Rises”--and there it was on the American Movie Classics channel, with Robert Evans as a baby-faced bullfighter and Ty Power, Ava Gardner, Eddie Albert, Mel Ferrer and, above all, a boozing Errol Flynn, who really was great in this turkey, saying: “A bunch of bloody fireworks all fizzling--that’s us.” Now that’s a movie.

BEING THERE: “I like a wine that fights back,” observed John Steed (Patrick Macnee) in “The Avengers.”

Say good night, Gracie. . . .