Star Cabby Thinks His Peers Still Have a Long Way to Go

The way I see it, Bob Alexander has managed to elude the three scourges that afflict San Diego cabdrivers: bankruptcy, robbery and hemorrhoids.

For that alone, Alexander might merit an award.

But it’s for other things--like fetching lost luggage, keeping a spotless cab and a sunny attitude, and making hospital and Blood Bank trips--that Alexander, 42, has been named Cab Driver of the Year by the Convention & Visitors Bureau.

He’s as San Diego as a sunburn.

He looks like the lost Beach Boy. He has a 35-foot sailboat and spent five years skippering sailboats for delivery.

He sees himself as part of the travel industry, not just a hack driver. He dreams of latching on the America’s Cup competition in 1992, maybe as coordinator of ground transportation.

He’ll be feted today at Fat City restaurant as part of the 12th Annual Cab Driver Appreciation Day. He’ll get a plaque, $200, 500 business cards and a trip to Las Vegas.

The runners-up and other drivers will be there for an afternoon of cabbie bonhomie, complete with zoo animals and television personalities.

There is the tiniest of problems, however.

The Cab Driver of the Year thinks many San Diego cabdrivers deserve a boot in the butt, not a pat on the back.

“Many of them lack a professional, businesslike attitude,” said Alexander, who leases from Yellow Cab.

“I see so many drivers just preying on the traveling tourists by taking advantage whenever possible: by not taking people directly from point A to point B, by not offering information about the city.”

He thinks cabbies should go to etiquette school.

For himself, Alexander is always looking for ways to attract a high-tipping clientele. He’s got a cellular phone in his cab.

He’s also thinking of installing a fax machine. As I said, he’s very San Diego.

In Case of Offending, Keep Trap Shut

Doesn’t it seem that suddenly the San Diego woods are full of people bawling moral instruction to their neighbors?

Some days the din from these secular preachers using the public prints and airwaves to improve the public’s morals/eco-consciousness/sensitivity is near ear-splitting:

The community is becoming more diverse, and we--that means you, brother--need to respect that. There are diverse reasons for this diversity, and we should respect those, too.

We should save water and recycle glass, plastic and newspapers. Next time you flush, think of the guy next door.

Government at all levels is going to hell in a handbasket. I can’t remember when it’s been this bad before, although admittedly (also arguably) I have a bad memory.

We need to set the agenda. There’s nothing worse than an unset agenda.

Maybe we should have a meeting. Throw out the press and let everybody in the city say what he/she feels.

The sportswriters say such a meeting helped the Padres. For a day or two.

Some people in San Diego care only about their own statistics. I told that to a New York writer.

There are things you had better not do, and things you better not say.

Conservatives worry that someone might burn the flag. Liberals worry that someone might use “fighting words” and offend this group or that at the University of California.

The only safe thing is to stay in your room: wrapped in the flag, mouth shut.

And, of course, restrict the flow in your shower.

Once More, With Humor

Everybody’s a comic.

* License plate on a La Jolla-bound BMW: “CPA TAXY.”

* Spotted in Encinitas: migrant on a street corner wearing a Border Patrol hat.

* Come-on line by undercover FBI agent to Richard T. Silberman: “I’m a different breed of businessman.”

I’ll say. The breed that can put you in the slammer for 75 years.