LAGUNA NIGUEL : Girls Learn Life Lessons From Coach

Last year, midway through a tense game they were losing 3-0, Jerry Grossman took the girls on his soccer team aside and reviewed his basic lesson: Play as if the score were tied, and always give 100%.

“They went back out there and they tied the game,” said Sue Miller, the mother of one of the girls. “They lost it in the last 30 seconds, but they lost 4-3.”

In some ways, Miller said, the incident parallels the example the coach has set with his own life since his diagnosis of lung cancer almost two years ago.

“I think the man has taught 15-year-old girls very important lessons that they’re going to take with them all their lives,” she said.

A year and a half ago, after his initial surgery, Grossman resigned his job as an emergency-room physician and turned his attention to the game of soccer, which his wife, Kathy, said he saw as a way to help shape character. It was also, she said, a way to “max out the good times.”

Grossman helped form the Illusions and the Sidekicks, the first two girls soccer teams in the San Juan Soccer Club, which encompasses several South County cities. Then he began teaching them the basics: courage, determination and patience.

In the past few weeks, Grossman’s condition has deteriorated sharply, leaving him physically depleted but still sturdy enough to hammer away at his basic game plan.

Last week, he dictated an inspirational letter to be delivered to members of the Sidekicks, the team he coached to second place in their division during their first year. Grossman, 41, has spent recent days directing replacement coaches and even booking space at soccer fields for the coming season.

In the meantime, girls from both teams, as well as their families, have rallied to support the coach. All 30 team members have visited his Laguna Niguel home in the last week to express their affection, Kathy Grossman said. The girls have bombarded their coach with daily letters and rousing soccer cheers. The Illusions, the team on which one of Grossman’s two daughters plays, produced a videotape filled with personal messages both funny and tender, she said.

“We loved it; it made us cry,” Kathy said. “We laughed at the jokes and cried at the beautiful stuff.”

While recent days have been emotionally wrenching for many who have been involved with Grossman, Carol Divino, whose 15-year-old twins play on one of his teams, said the lessons her girls have learned on the soccer field are carrying them through these difficult days.

“His attitude has rubbed off on my daughters,” she said. “They have a positive outlook, and they are willing to accept what they cannot change. And they learned that from him.”

Such support has bolstered her husband, Kathy Grossman said.

“He’s not giving up,” she said. “He’s still trying. It’s wonderful for him to know that the kids got the message.”