RAMS ’90 : A Guide to Viewing 1990 Rams

R am Football 1990, a working glossary:

Anaheim Stadium: Where the cinnamon rolls and Joe Montana can’t be beat.

Anderson, Flipper: Could be better than those other dolphins, Clayton and Duper.

Arthroscopic surgery: Part of the experience Curt Warner brings to the Rams.

Back Side: Where Jim Everett spent most of his first NFC championship game.

Berlin Wall: Where the Rams saw for themselves that no great obstacle lasts forever, except, maybe, the 49ers.

Blitz: The Rams’ post-Thanksgiving schedule. They close at San Francisco, at Cleveland, at home against New Orleans, at home against San Francisco, at Atlanta and at New Orleans.

Bomb: What the Rams do in conference championship games.

Brostek, Bern: Hawaiian punch.

Bye: Suggestion given to Greg Bell after he rushed for 2,300 yards in two seasons.

Defense: Can’t afford to be 21st again.

Denver Broncos: Unfortunately, not on Rams’ schedule.

Dilweg, Anthony: Don’t say the Rams never catch a break.

Eagle Defense: Now utilized only in Philadelphia.

Everett, Jim: GQ doesn’t stand for great quarterback. Not yet.

Fake Field Goal: No longer practiced in preparation for 49er games.

Faison, Derrick: Big Bird. Could be a rookie monster.

Free Safety: A great place for Jerry Gray to live, but he only gets to visit.

Fumble: What the Rams did by not drafting a pass rusher in the first nine rounds.

Gary, Cleveland: Two Midwestern communities.

Germany, Japan, Great Britain: Only countries the Rams have conquered since 1951.

Green, Gaston: In case of emergency, break glass.

Greene, Kevin: Future San Francisco 49er linebacker.

Hamstring Pull: One more thing Henry Ellard, Flipper Anderson and Aaron Cox can catch.

Holdout: How the Rams’ best defensive player, All-Pro offensive tackle, starting tight end, starting free safety and starting defensive tackle all spent their summer vacations.

Home Field Advantage: Obsolete Ram custom. Presumed lost in move from Coliseum.

House of Pain: John Shaw’s office.

Humphery, Bobby: Either a Jet mistake or a Ram mistake.

I Formation: Popularized by Eric Dickerson during the mid-1980s. Recently scrapped in Indianapolis.

Incentive Clause: Play well now so someone else might pay you later.

Injured Reserve: First-team defense.

Instant Replay: The Rams finished second in 1986, in 1988, in 1989, in . . .

Irvin, LeRoy: Will be missed.

Lansford, Mike: Barefoot in the park.

Las Vegas Line: Better than the Ram defensive line.

New Orleans: Where the Rams end their regular season. On Monday night. On New Year’s Eve. Party accessories not necessarily included.

Nickel Defense: Four cents more than John Shaw would like to spend.

Pass Rush: Retired when Jack Youngblood did.

Plan B: What happens if Jim Everett gets hurt.

Pro Bowl: A great place to be, or so Irv Pankey has heard.

Punt: What the Rams did to Hank Ilesic and Kent Elmore when they didn’t.

Rams Park: Where old elementary schools go to die.

Reception: Celebration at San Francisco Airport the day after a Super Bowl.

Revenue Sharing: Bumming lunch off Jim Everett.

Reykjavik, Iceland: Proposed site for 1991 Ram exhibition.

Road to Tampa: Ram travel itinerary for Week 2 of regular season.

Robinson, John: One less Super Bowl than Ray Malavasi.

Run and Shoot: What Greg Bell did and what John Robinson wanted to do to him.

Sack: Cloth Ram fans have been wearing since January.

Screen: John Shaw’s answering machine meets the press.

Secondary: What winning has become to the Rams’ front office.

Snap: Sound often made by arm or leg during Ram exhibition games.

Special Teams: False advertising in Anaheim.

Sudden Death: Jan. 20, 1991. NFC Championship Game. Rams at 49ers.

Warner, Curt: John Robinson tries to turn back the odometer again.

Weak Side: Where the Ram player sits at the contract negotiating table.

Wild Card: Reason for Ram football in January.

Xs and Os: Georgia knows this is how you play tick-tack-toe.

Zampese, Ernie: One NFC title game, one field goal. Has 4 1/2 months to prepare for rematch.